thoughts from my life

water0402

do something to ditract my attention..
        i used to feel lonely and depression when i alone ,but i don`t wanna be that. from the early morning(i can`t sleep well) i try to make me excite,try to avoid being alone,try to busy all the time.this make my mother happy ,she said i am a good child but like playing.she doesn`t know much about real me...i think.and i don`t want to be really known by others.i just be a happy child in evryone`s mind.just ok!
        if puerility and happiness means child,i want to be child forever.if lonely and depression equal to adult,i never want to grow up.but ,what am i?child or adult?

markwu

when young, we want to hide behind the cosy world of icons and make-beliefs.

when older, we face up to new challenges every day - unpaid bills, impossible deadlines, broken dreams.

when pre-expiring, we look back and ask whether it was all worth it.

how we live an entire life will determine the type of answer to the pre-expiring question.

some remain children in their minds from beginning to end; others become self-expiring the moment they start to live.

the saving grace for each and all stages then is to find something which will endure no matter what the stage is or what it wants, and see that thing through from beginning to end.

but it is also a trick  - because from beginning to end, the person doing the experiment will him/her-self also change and so the observations of the result will also change.

.....however in the silence of the night, after the thunderstorm has gone, wafted by a dreamy cool breeze, hearing the gentle song of the bird calling for home, and as the sky clears to reveal the smiling moon again....

you..will..know..your..own..answer.

water0402

thank markwu...your words always be meaningful and graceful to my puzzle.... yes,we always want to sovle the pre-expiring questions about our life...this is the proess of grow up~
   
something must be determined on my mind.nobody could do well on  two different things at the same time.i always busy in doing all kinds of  things ,such as learning english ,japanese,cooking,computer; going out for finding job,friends,shopping;or want to read many books.....but up to now,i haven`t any achievements in any of them.it makes me feel the time is so limited and nervouse about myself.i always feel i am useless... i couldn`t cool me down.i just busy myself that i wouldn`t think too much....
i know i shouldn`t be that any more...so,i must have a determination about  what really to do .

by the way...is there many mistakes in my articles?i don`t confidence myself ...

markwu

Wanting to do many things at the same time is just wanting to expand your experiences. Wanting to expand one's experiences is because it helps to build one's ability to express oneself in one's own style. Wanting to express oneself is a basic drive of the young.

So: action <---> experience <---> expression.

That i think is why the young like to use their mobile more than anyone else.  Whether it is sending or receiving a call/sms/download,  It has action, experience and expression all in one wrapped around by a sense of 'convenience' (anywhere, anytime).

It may be because during the age when one is young, the growth hormones work to create the need to be active and to find out more.  Perhaps there is a biological reason why these hormones activate during this time - could it be that action/experience/expression help the person to develop more skills and knowledge to protect and build himself/herself more strongly for the next stage of life?

However, it is not all positive.  If a person does something but without focusing step-by-step on what she is doing, then how much can she possibly learn from doing it?  

So it remains to say that this situation of not paying attention to details gets aggravated in today's fast-moving, consumer-oriented society.  Everyone seems to be rushing somewhere to do 'something', or trying to make money to buy 'something'.  But do they look carefully at what they are trying to 'do, or the 'thing' they desire, or do they examine themselves whether they really need to take the specific action, or to desire the thing in the first place?

By slowing down the pace a bit, even for a few seconds more so that you can look at (a) where you came from to (b) where you want to go,  in turn realizing (c) what you want to do, and (d) what is the thing being looked at, the experience to be gained becomes sharper, and the knowledge gained richer, which in turn makes the expression of personal style...more unique and fulfilling.

If the mind is calm, the thoughts can flow better, the actions will be more focused and balanced, thus so too the flowering of personal style.

Once this becomes second nature, it will only get easier and easier. Once it gets easier, confidence will surface naturally, self-doubts will reduce themselves, and nervousness will give way to careful action thought out beforehand.

Lastly, it is alright to make mistakes - but it is more fun to challenge oneself : 'i shall not repeat my mistakes.' or, more strongly, 'i shall not make the same mistake twice.'

However, this again is not entirely positive.  When one is too focused on wanting to do something extraordinarily well, it can crimp the development of character and personality which become so worked up that being a more balanced person will become difficult, perhaps forfeited.

Some people want to be extremely good at something; others will be satisfied with being good at some things and average at most other things. It's all a matter of personal taste and priority.

My take here is that when there are many people, it is always better to be very good at something (positive) so that one's usefulness increases.  But don't let that happen at personal expense of developing a balanced mind and a good heart.

For these are the basic objectives of ALL lives......

[ Last edited by markwu at 2007-8-6 10:10 PM ]

water0402

i go out just for a rest ,just want to find a quiet,just want to read a book....
    i had this thinking long time ago,but i can`t do that till today.i got out this morning,walking through the streets,watching over the shops,and sat in the park finally.in the park,there is a long byway and many trees above it ,i sat there watching all kinds of people walk by,most of them are older.how equability they are! so admire them.
     i read book there,sofe wind made me forgot the hot weather.and then ,an old man came to me ask me why sat there.i said i just want to find a quiet place to read book.he smiled to me and talk with me for about 2 hours.:) he told much about himself specially recalled his young life...
     when we young,we always be busy in something  for now and be anxious about something for future..because the past is past ,no need to cost our time,but olders always use their time to tell and recall the past time of theirs...life is it ,young create memory  for old

markwu

The old want to leave something behind for the young.

Mostly it's out of concern. When one has gone through much of life, it is only natural not to want to see the same mistakes made again by others, especially when the others are young people.

Yet it is a strange thing about life that the young ones will continue to ignore the words of the old and proceed to repeat the same mistakes with gusto.  It's like there is a firewall that prevents the messages from getting through.

Imagine how it would be in a society where no one makes the same mistake twice. Any mistake. Soon enough the young will become as wise as the old, and then because they have more time and energy, become wiser still earlier ahead.  A perfectly formed learning curve.

But life makes sure such a nice idea will never take root. The young want to try everything on their own.

A quiet place to read a book while watching life passes is indeed a find, especially in a crowded and noisy city.

In much the same way that the old want to bequest something from their lives to the young, the authors of books want to bequest something to their readers.

The thoughts that go into a book connect the author to his/her readers across space, time, genre, milieu, and all the other humdrum limitations of life.

Sometimes the thoughts connect from way back in the past right to the running minutes of this moment.

Like this post.

The worldwide web has become the market place where thoughts and ideas are exchanged. One can read anything - from A to Z (which also means in the Mandarin and other types of scripts).

Data compression technology has made it possible to cramp hundreds of books into a disc; and big files into thumb-drives.

Of course reading a book you can hold in your hands is much better than reading it on the screen, not just on the eyes but also on the mind.

In a day, each of us get to connect and disconnect with people. With each connection and disconnection there arises an experience. Each experience creates an emotion. Happiness, sadness, anger, frustration, and so on.

Just now i found another ebook amongst the millions of pages run through by the search engine. It's not a book easily found at a bookshop. Probably they will have to place a special order for it. Anyway, it has a simple message in one of the pages....

.... a person should make a personal quest to rise beyond the tangential pulls of happiness and sadness, afflictions and desires, so that the mind is not affected by anything that belongs to this earth.... The challenge is to be able to do all that without losing good feelings for others, compassion, kindness, love etc.  A problem indeed - to walk away from feelings, and yet to retain one universal feeling.

That's why it's called a quest.

The old man in the park must have been lonely for the company of a daughter or son who no longer talks to him. Seeing time passes when he already knows the sand of his hourglass is already flowing down fast, he wants to say something.

Life is like time. Once gone, never to return, yet when having it, seldom appreciated enough.  Because it is always only in the background. Never noticed.

Who would want to notice this thread?

Millions of lives have come and gone, like seeds that blow in the wind to wherever they land and become trees.  Then wither to become ash that provides the nutrition for other seeds to start again.

There seems to be another connection somewhere.  But like time, it is always in the background.  Never noticed, seldom appreciated......

water0402

yesterday was memorial day of my sister fall in love  with her bf 100-day.her bf gave her many presents include a bunch of rose ,chocolate and so on...
     my sister chat and eat with me at night,i admired her has such bf who loved her so much,but nobody love me....she smiled to me,said many people around me love me .no,i said,my friends just like me not love me,like isn`t means  love.he once said to me that he was very happy with me everytime but never understood me .
my sister took me to her arms and said,you love others that you`ll get love from others.i wanted to cry but no tears....
     forget and forgive and love others,but i could forget and forgive not love....