Author: allgemein

Marry a foreigner [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 4

Post time 2004-8-7 23:20:26 |Display all floors


You sound like a good couselor and I need your advice dude. I am an American, married the Chinese woman and she's my best  friend's cousin.

She got one boy, I din't really want to married her in the first place but they took my passport a way and kept it when I first came to China in 2002.

So like now we living together and she's not treating me so kind, because I am not a chinese man. I don't know if she really love me or she just want to go to America and  like now she and her son is  waiting  to go to America . ANd like you such a bad scenerio happen when she get the green card and then left me.

How long will I have to support her and her son?.
I want to divorce with her in China but she refuse and is there any way  that I can cacel this marriage?.


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Rank: 1

Post time 2004-8-8 11:26:47 |Display all floors

To Dragonball69

Dear Mr. Dragonball.

If you were Goku, I would recommend you to use your Gong Fu (KungFu) to destroy all your enemies. But make sure the night you do so there is no full moon.

Now seriously. I think I may be able to help, but I need to ask some questions:

1) The baby, is yours?

2) Were you married in China? Does the american embassy knows about it?

If you are kind enough to answer me at I will try to ask around and see what can I do. Recently, I assisted a friend with a similar problem, so don't worry.

Now about the passport do not worry for you can always invalidate it in your embassy. They will give you a new number and mark this one as "dangerous" which means that forgery will definitely put them between bars.

Now some comments. You mentioned she does not treat you kind because you are not Chinese. Are you sure is that the reason? To me, and please forgive my indiscrection, is hard to believe such sentence. I have found chinese men who would look down on me, but never a Chinese woman.

It is clear to me that marriage is broken but...did you talked to her about it? Why don't you ask her if she love you or not?

If she does not love you and still wants to go to America, there is a couple of things you can do.

If you got married in China, you can just go to America. If you can prove you did not live with her during that period the marriage will be automatically dissolve.

Also, you can tell her you are not going to bring her to America and offer an economical solution to that. 50% of your property/money/etc is fair and should do the trick.

Finally, according to Chinese law, if the baby is not yours you have no duty to pay for his/her education (not 100% sure on this one).

I would suggest you to expose your problem in your embassy.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2004-8-8 21:43:33 |Display all floors


This woman is single mother and ofcourse I am not the father of the baby. She don't just treat me bad but she also having affair and I can't satance it any more.

She gave me the passport back. I asking her almost everyday so that we can get divorce but she refuse. So in China you can't divorce unleash that two party have to agree.

So if I cannot get divorce  with her in China but can I divorce and cancel this issue in my country?.

Please give me more advice and I willing to listen to your Mr. Marklehan. Thank you so much for your good will and kindness.


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Rank: 1

Post time 2004-8-9 10:34:33 |Display all floors

Who says you can not get divorce?

Dear dragonball.

I think you problem is easier than I first thought.

1) If the baby is not yours and you have been less than 5 years married, chances are you don't need to support him economically.

2) If she is having an affair and you can prove it, you can dissolve the marriage in a matter of seconds. Having an affair is indeed against the law, but you must prove it. You will be happy to know that China is particularily strong when it comes to law breaking.

3) If she refuse to get divorce, move away. After 5 years your marriage is officially over.

Anything else I can do for you please let me know.


PS: Where do you live in China? If you are kind of close maybe I can go there and talk some sense to her. If she is as bad as you said (Mark remembers not to judge a problem without listening to both parts) I believe you could get out of this only by offering her money.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2004-8-9 23:39:48 |Display all floors

5 years

Are you sure that if we don't live together in five years the marriage will automaticly be cancel.

I am about to go back to US soon and hopefull if I can cancel overther i will because I am sicked and tired of this matter.

I am living in Shenzhen now but I will to go back to US, to work and finish by others duties there. Thank you so much  for the advice and waiting to hear from you more. Wishing you a great and have a wonderful day.


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Rank: 4

Post time 2004-8-10 11:33:29 |Display all floors


i agree with you totally. it is the trust, respect, love that matter  a lot, not age, appearance etc. I am so proud of you though I don't even know you. hehe...

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Rank: 4

Post time 2004-8-10 11:41:59 |Display all floors


Age does matter. The guy must be older than a girl atleast 5-10 year. If the guy is younger than a girl the relationship will not survive, because the problem with the guys, they are immature and they always being (lao neu cher lan chaow) and I hope you understand what I mean..................

ANd if the guy is 50 years old and the girl is 25 years old, the relationship will not survive either, because the mentality is different and plus the girl would prefere the guy from 30-35 years of age.

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