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who can help me?(how about this company info) [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2006-3-9 14:43:41 |Display all floors
hi,everyone,my boss give me a task that write our compay's info. I do it as follow,

XXXXX Ornaments & Trade Co., LTD. is one of leading company that devote to produce & design of fashionable imitation jewelries and handcrafts, possess of qualified talents and advanced management, mainly supply mid & slap-up jewelries, especially be good at alloy, silver and copper etc material.  
Our major products are Bracelet, necklace, earring, hand chain, brooch, body jewelry, key chain and so on with fashionable design, reliable quality, low price and short delivery. What’s more, we can specially make any style according to customer’s request. Till now our products enjoy high reputation among all of our customers in the world, such as Europe, America, Middle- East, and South-East Asia, etc.
We believe we will satisfy our customers based on our exquisite technology, advanced management and good service.
Looking forward to establish long-term and friendly business relation with the serious customers .


how about this? Can foreigners know this clear?

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Post time 2006-3-9 16:57:29 |Display all floors
Pretty good!  Its meaning is clear, although the grammar and style are not native.

"mid & slap-up jewelries," needs some work though.because slap-up is very informal and usually applied to parties or meals and means very good. Never applied to jewellry though.

"and so on"  is meaningless and should be omitted.

What’s more,"  is not really useful  and "til now'  should also be left out.

You normally design a product and then produce it so it would be more common to put the words in the same order.

Bracelet, necklace, earring,, brooch might sound better if these have an "s" on the end of each.  Chain and body jewelry are OK.


perhaps --

XXXXX Ornaments & Trade Co Ltd is a long established company specialising in the  design and production of fashion jewelry and handcrafts, Talented and creative designers and craftsmen, supported by enlightened management, supply mid & high-end products in most alloy, silver and copper materials.  

Our major products are bracelets, necklaces, earrings, hand chain, brooches, body jewelry, and key chain featuring fashionable design, reliable quality, low price and prompt delivery.

We excel at filling specialty orders according to customer’s specific requirements.

Our products enjoy a high reputation among discerning customers in  Europe, America, the Middle- East, and across South-East Asia.

Our customers appreciate the benefits of our advanced management, modern technology and excellent service and we feel certain that those still looking for quality products at the right price will find XXXX  the perfect partner in a long-term, friendly and mutually rewarding business relationship.


Tony

[ Last edited by leesinchina at 2006-3-9 06:59 PM ]

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Post time 2006-3-10 08:48:10 |Display all floors

A BIG HELP

What a big help!Thank you very much!
How can you learn English very well? Cheers!

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Post time 2006-3-10 08:54:42 |Display all floors

AGAIN

Tony,thanks again.But I want to add this information: our jewelrys are imitation.Where do I put this into my company's info.Can you give me another hand?
Regadrs,
Feimama

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Post time 2006-3-13 15:10:11 |Display all floors
costume jewelry

cos·tume jew·el·ry


noun
Definitions:

cheap jewels: decorative jewelry that does not contain precious stones or metals

Encarta® World English Dictionary [North American Edition]


so maybe you could change "fashion jewelry" to "fashionable costume jewelry"

[ Last edited by leesinchina at 2006-3-13 05:11 PM ]

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