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Curious [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2005-9-17 19:50:47 |Display all floors
I constantly read on this forum about 'Chinese girls with foreign boys" but never the other way around, why is that?

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Rank: 4

Post time 2005-9-17 21:56:03 |Display all floors

i was with a chinese man

and there are other women on here too.. I think maybe we just don't talk about it so much..

although not ashamed.. there are some posts about it.

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Post time 2005-9-18 07:15:14 |Display all floors

because its more rare

I rarely got hit on by chinese guys and when I did it was very tentative and awkward and I wasn't sure if they were just trying to practice english with me or if they thought I was pretty or were interested. as far as the man situation in China goes, western girls should not go there if they want to do a lot of dating or think they're going to meet lots of hottie asian guys. But every western guy I know in China got lots and lots of attention from girls. What country can I go to where American girls get tons of play?

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Post time 2005-9-18 08:39:48 |Display all floors

carrie515

05/09/18

Carrie you will just have to do all the approaching. These guys are so shy because they have been told all their lives that women don't want men, except for marriage.

Most Chinese men cannot image a woman having 'desire', they think that is only what 'dirty men' have.  Every notice Chinese women dressing very sexy, but if a man looks at her, they act like he is a monster man? They are not dressing for ,MEN; but for themselves, after years of drab female clothing...meant to be androgenous, and netural. That was the point, no female, no male. Man and woman as workers. Not sex objects.

This is the ambivilance they carry around with them. Naturally the man is afraid of rejection.  Now, of course, the new Chinese woman is much different she is trying to put aside that old female chauvinism, but it is not easy, after years of mother telling them 'men are dirty'.

Don't give up, once you score; you have a terrific guy.

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Post time 2005-9-18 12:41:14 |Display all floors

alas its too late for me

I've already left China largely because it was just too lonely. Chinese people were either too shy and we never became close friends or I just didn't click with them. My Chinese coworkers weren't very friendly and rarely invited me anywhere with them. Other westerners in China are either girls complaining about how they get no play or guys who get way too much and become egocentric and gross. Overall most of the westerners I met in China were not what I expected and I was so depressed about my own situation that I wasn't good company. Maybe I should have been more outgoing but its hard and when you're alone that much you get weird and discouraged.

Its hard to feel pretty in China. Clothes aren't made for your body type and you're surrounded by tiny doll-like Chinese girls. Western guys aren't  that interested in you and Chinese guys keep their distance. Suddenly you become completely unwanted. And because you're white you're stared at like a freak. We're told that Chinese guys think we're oversized and are bad girls which is why I never approached any. Plus they always get flustered about their english which makes things even more awkward.

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Post time 2005-9-18 20:21:25 |Display all floors

My thoughts

I'm sorry you had a bad experience. Sometimes it can depend on what school you go to. For example, my first school was quite awful in every way imaginable and yes, the teachers weren't friendly but I didn't exactly put out my social tentacles either. Now I'm at a great school where the teachers are very friendly but I too have learnt to 'push' myself socially and make more of an effort- simply because I'm happy here!

As for the Chinese men, well, I began this topic because I have a Chinese partner and wanted to find out why it doesn't happen more often. But after talking to my partner, he believes that Chinese, in general, are shy when it comes to dating and romance. They are also very practical, dating a foreigner could bring a lot of baggage, not least the fact they'll probably go home in a year + the language/cultural barrier.

However, we were fortunate enough not to have those problems, though I can imagine they'd be a hurdle for the majority.

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Post time 2005-9-20 11:40:10 |Display all floors

haha funny enough

i get hit on all the time by foreigner men.. but i'm not interested..  the worst part is i'm usually in places that avoid foreigners.. i don't like being in bars full of foreigners and such..
The chinese girlfriends i'm with always think i'm crazy for sending them away.. or maybe they wish i would pass them along..

Chinese guys.,. well i get on with dating chinese men really well.. i suppose they hope if they buy enough groceries and dinner and what not.. maybe they'll get some tail who knows. MOst of the chinese men i date .. Don't speak english.. and well my chinese isn't great.. but i manage alright.. They're usually really good  with me, teaching me table ettiquitte here and such.. introducing me to people.. ALways introducing me.. i have more business cards i can't read then i know what to do with.. I'm thinking i'll start making a wallpaper out of it.

just haven't found anyone that can sweep me off my feet ...

i'll agree though.. can't find clothes in china.. and constantly tell me i'm fat in china.. although not soo much anymore.. and i bought enough clothes back with me i should be good. i woudln't wanna wear most of the clothes here anyways.. mickey mouse shorts.. NO THANKS!

although yes it's really lonely here.. *sigh

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