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did my girlfriend really sleep with laowai? [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2005-5-16 08:20:27 |Display all floors
recently a tragedy happened in my life.

I will tell you the story of my girlfriend and I.
We met on the train from xi'an to beijing.
then i was a young student, going to attend university in the big city.
We fell in love at first sight, we talked for hours and hours. now
we have been together for three years. then recently, she becomes friends with this foreigner who she met on campus. she
says she only meets him to use him to learn english, so i agree at first. Then last week i saw my girlfriend
carrying a new handbag and i ask where you get it and she says foreigner gave it to her as a present. I told her
to return it and she said she won't and i am paranoid, so we had a big fight and eventualy she got angry and I kicked her out. I
didn't speak to her for two days then i called her but she won't answer. now yesterday, this foreigner saw me and
said your girlfriend was "very good in bed"?!? and made bad comments about my physique.
I got very angry and i wanted to punch him but i didn't really believe him so i left redfaced.
my girlfriend and i, even we been together
for so long, we never you know slept together. she always says she is not ready yet so despite this i love her still very deeply.
I go wait and wait near my girlfriend's home. finally i see her and i say I apologize to her but she says she is
urgent busy and just left! but really i can feel her mood has changed. i don't know if she loves me anymore.

also this foreigner is fat, ugly, stupid, not very likeable.. and old, at least 40 or 50. i don't know maybe he ruined
my girlfriend who is very young and inexperienced? if he did that i will kill him, the devil.
i don't know who to talk to now should i go confront this foreigner, i know
where he lives. my girlfriend won't talk to me anymore it seems, she is not at home and i don't know where she is.
if my girlfriend really did sleep with the foreigner i dont know if i can accept her anymore and what to do. maybe
she is ashamed and still loves me because laowai took advantage of her.
i still love her truly. But I'm lonely and depressed, please help me friends. what do i do?

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Post time 2005-5-16 08:54:42 |Display all floors

REMEMBER ONE THING

MANY FOREIGNERS IN CHINA ARE UGLY DUDE, IF UR GIRL CHOOSE ONE OF THEM, FAT OLD UGLY BLA BLA THAT MEANS SHE DOESNT HAVE GOOD TASTE THEN THE BEST THING IS THAT U SHOULD LEAVE HER ASAP

FIND SOME OTHER ONE WITH BETTER TASTE THEN

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Post time 2005-5-16 10:02:33 |Display all floors

Gosh.

Gosh...how can you think about your gf like that??

if you don't trust your gf any more, why not break up?

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Post time 2005-5-16 10:04:34 |Display all floors

not all...Dude

MANY FOREIGNERS IN CHINA ARE UGLY DUDE

Not all are dude!!!

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Post time 2005-5-16 10:11:01 |Display all floors

is this guy a teacher?

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Post time 2005-5-16 10:33:53 |Display all floors

There are two sides to every coin.

I empathise with your loss of face if what you are saying here is all true.

If the laowai is a teacher (I assume he is due to his age and is teaching your friend English) on your campus, there are issues of his potentially abusing his position. It may be that your friend has genuinely fallen for this guy (hey, it could happen!) and he for her- hence the handbag as a gift. Maybe you are reading too much into it.

The issue of whether or not they have slept together is not proven. There are basic differences in attitudes to this between the West and China.

What you really need to do, in my opinion, is have the three of you get together to discuss this. You are obviously upset by what you perceive your friend has done to you.

Perhaps you are not entirely blameless in all of this. I would like to hear your friend's views. Is there someone on campus such as a student counsellor who can mediate between the three of you?

Do not take any direct action against either the laowai or your friend. Assualting either or both will only get you into trouble officially- resulting in you possibly being charged by police or excluded from the campus.

If the laowai is having an inappropriate (i.e. sexual) relationship with your friend, it should be brought to the attention of the University authorities. I'm sure they would not want their reputation sullied by such an incident and will be keen to have the matter dealt with in the proper manner.

Again, we only have your version of the story to look at here. If your friend is genuinely fond of this other felloow, it might be something you are just going to have to learn to live with and move on with your life.

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Post time 2005-5-16 10:37:57 |Display all floors

sorry i didn't make myself clear

this foreigner he doesn't teach at our school. he teaches at a secondary school.

i do trust my girlfriend but she wont talk to me why? certainly not over such a little argument

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