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lesbian or heterosexual? [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 4

Post time 2004-11-30 16:31:11 |Display all floors
First sorry for my poor English.

How do I know if my sex orientation is lesbian or heterosexual? I am confused. I am afraid I don't have much interest in men, don't trust men...

Anyone can help me?

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2004-11-30 16:51:10 |Display all floors

Do you love another woman??? You can't control yr desires???(sex)

Worst case - hv you gone to bed with the same sex??? & sometime the opposite sex???? If answer is NO, You are not one.
Lesbian(Liking between females only)
Gays/homosexual(Liking between Males only)
usually hv Genetic problems........
It is a great pity....

Look for a counsellor/doctor if one is needed.

P/S : i don't see one spelling mistake. So hv confidence.....

Kind regards

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Rank: 4

Post time 2004-11-30 17:22:56 |Display all floors

let me tell you, fly2heaven

well, i had the same problem with you several months ago. i thought i was a lesbian at first, and i was more and more convinced by my behaviors. the examples are as follows:
i didn't like to talk with men; i thought they were smelly.
i didn't look at men unless i had to; i thought they were ugly.
i didn't want to stay with men; i thought they were sick.

contrast to that,
i prefer to talk with women; they make me calm and peaceful. they are smarter and they won't hurt me.
i prefer to stare at women. although not all the women are pretty, some are really beautiful. looking at the beauty makes me happy all the time; that's a different feeling from looking at handsome men.
i prefer to stay with women. they smell good, and they are good listeners and partners to exchange our stories and ideas. usually, we have the same experierence and the same feeling towards men.

however, one of my gay friend asked me a simple question: have you ever had a desire to have sex with women? i thought for a while and shook my head. then came to another question: could you imagine this case? i thought seriously for a while and shook my head again. then he assured me that i was not a lesbien. according to his theory, having sex with the person of the same sex is the most important criterion of being the homosexualer, which is usually the first step in turning into homoseualer. in order to make it specific, i consulted several books related to homosexuality, and all the reference prooved my friend right.

so, it's your turn to think about these two questions now.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2004-11-30 17:24:39 |Display all floors

Hmmmmm...

...I doubt that ANY person here can answer that question for you.  But perhaps can give some advice.

Lesbian does NOT mean "not interested in men" or "not interested in sex".  In fact, studies have shown that about 3-5% of the population are actually "asexual" -- that means they feel no sexual attraction to EITHER sex.

Here is a simple guide to help you:

You are HETEROSEXUAL if you are sexually attracted only to men

You are BISEXUAL if you are sexually attracted to men and women

You are ASEXUAL if you are sexually attracted to nobody

You are HOMOSEXUAL (lesbian) if you are sexually attracted only to women

I had a close friend in Shanghai 6 years ago; she had several bf's but never got any real "chemistry" or "thrill" from her relations with them.  I asked her at one point if she'd ever been sexually attracted to women, and she said that yes, she had, but she was afraid to do anything about it, because of the traditional Chinese attitudes towards lesbians.

I encouraged her to at least try, and see what happened.  She did...and she discovered that she was, in fact, a lesbian.  Now, I know that a lot of people will condemn her as a pervert, and condemn me for encouraging her, but the fact is that she is FAR happier today, than she was before she did this.  She knows who she is, and she has found a partner with whom she can really be happy and fulfilled.

Only YOU can determine what your particular preferences are; but I'd encourage you to do so with an open mind, not with fear that you "might be different" or that there "might be something wrong".

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Rank: 4

Post time 2004-11-30 17:31:11 |Display all floors

If I was a Chinese girl

I'd probably turn lesbian considering the state of most Chinese guys.

Unless you actually have desires about sleeping with/kissing/touching other women then you're not a lesbian or bisexual.
Cecilia and the other poster - you're just not attracted to most of the men you meet in everyday life - that's perfectly normal.  It's hard to imagine that people are sometimes.

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2004-11-30 17:36:47 |Display all floors

Religions are against Gays(homo)&Lesbians unions.....

Just be aware.

DO not to try everything like drugs when one becomes an addict.
Then everything is beyond hope....

For yr reference.....difference between Western&Eastern philosophy....

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2004-11-30 19:16:12 |Display all floors

canadianguy is being reckless this time...

how do you the author of this thread is a woman?

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