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Should youngsters shun marriage ceremony to avoid rituals? [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2019-11-3 12:25:45 |Display all floors
Modern Chinese weddings have been largely influenced by the West and brides usually wear a western style flowing gown often in white, which is not considered an auspicious color in China, and the bridegroom always wears a suit.

However, the ceremony is not the place where the marriage is legalized. It is registered at a local government office ahead of the ceremony that takes place at a plush hotel instead of a church.

A couple prepares for the marriage ceremony over several months and spends huge sums on photography, honeymoon, wedding planning, banquets and car rental.

Take Beijing as an example. The most recent data show that newlyweds in Beijing spent 280,000 yuan ($39,683) on average, equivalent to what an ordinary young person in Beijing earns in over two years.

Some Chinese millennials then started to question the tradition of preparing for a wedding considering that it is expensive, burdensome, time-consuming and stressful. They ask: Can we just save the money, time and energy for ourselves?

Should they shun marriage ceremony to avoid rituals?

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Post time 2019-11-4 09:34:35 |Display all floors
This post was edited by markwu at 2019-11-4 18:28

Wedding ceremonies are an industry; many jobs depend on them continuing. But they are an unnecessary expense from the perspective of objective and effect applied to a young couple just starting out in life together.

If the objective is to celebrate a couple coming together in matrimony, just the tea-serving ceremony in the home among relatives and friends will do.

They can give the red-packets to the couple so that the newly-weds will have some baby-care products money needed later. Those who can't turn up can greet the couple over video-net and bank-in the red-packets.

The effects of big commercial wedding ceremonies on the couple can be ruinous, especially on the groom who already has to pay dowry. Which is also unnecessary. Like, you know, the horrific suttee practice.

The most important perspective these days is to give the young couple a good head-start, free as much as possible from debts, so that they can start a life together unburdened by debts.

After all, money problems are a grief everywhere. What's the purpose of loading the couple with money problems until they cannot develop and sustain their relationship smoothly? Why go and create a problem for them? It's not the parents or relatives or friends who are getting married so the notion of saving face can be squashed with one question - whose face(s) is it that matters in the end when the older ones return to being stardust?

In these days of the mad trumpian march towards extinction, business is risky, fortunes can be unmade suddenly, and in the twinkling of an eye, the future can be voided.  Living just for the day and letting tomorrow take care of itself is plain unwise. Because there will at least be one more mouth to feed. Who never chose to come into the world by itself.  Moreover, two hearts can only beat together if both stomachs are full, always.

Summary: cancel all nonsensical social norms. The world has changed. Save the money to buy household things needed to run a family. Later when more settled and financially stable, the couple in their 30s or 40s can then invite those they did not to a celebration, modest still, in some restaurant. Toast in equal amounts both fine wine and vinegar to reflect the ups-and-downs of life.

Footnote: by the laws of thermodynamics, the brain functions to minimize the amount of energy it has to expend when thinking or deciding; this means it will take shortcuts and auto-develop preferences leading to preset notions and mindsets. Which implies this against-the-norm suggestion to cancel all expensive wedding ceremonies will not be easily received. But then again, life is a chore and having money doesn't mean one must splurge. Donate to charity instead and earn some social credits. After all, the ledger of life always balances out in the end but in its books, wedding expenses are not a double-entry.


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