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Foreigner: Marriage Culture [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 4

Post time 2004-9-15 01:17:31 |Display all floors
Hi,

I want to know how a traditional chinese marriage happens in china.
I am a foreigner and i'm very interested in learning chinese culture.
Please let me know about this.

thank you,
ramesh.

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2004-9-15 09:24:39 |Display all floors

I suggest you refer to some of coolmax' postings

I believe his ideas are more TRADITONAL than others.

Another advice from me, i think it better to change your title of " Foreigner: marriage culture,, into " To Chinese, marriage culture". Otherwise , it would be assumed as a Chinese forumite proposed the question. ;) at least, i thought so.

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Rank: 1

Post time 2004-9-15 10:55:22 |Display all floors

i can tell u ?

In old days people at most cases get married with one boy or girl designated by there parents even before they come to this world! you have no choice but to accept parent's arrangement even if you donn't feel good with your partner.  girls can pay life if they are found not virgin at first night by their husbands.
Now it goes another way to its limit. most youngsters look sex going as frequently as filling stomach. Boys feel  self contemptuous if don't do the stuff like other boys while girls feel panic if she is still virgin after certain ages lets say 22.
maybe above said is more of love than what you called marrige. but even for marrige things go following the track of the same way.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2004-9-15 11:25:26 |Display all floors

I've seen one traditional Chinese marriage

I've been in China 11 years, and attended many, many weddings here (having a foreign guest at a wedding gives a lot of face to the bride and groom).

However, most of those weddings were the typical "modern" Chinese wedding -- which consists of nothing more than a big dinner, where people drink a lot, and play games to embarass the bride and groom.  The only "traditional" part is when the bride wears a traditional red Chinese wedding dress...but she wears this only for a short time, as she's usually got at least two or three different dresses that she has to wear during the dinner.

I've only attended ONE "traditional" wedding -- and, rather ironically, this "traditional" wedding was a wedding between a foreign woman and a Chinese man!!

The bride wore the traditional red dress, with a large red cloth covering her head and face, and was led in by several other women.  The whole ceremony was very traditional, and very beautiful.

During the Cultural Revolution, these traditional style weddings were considered one of the "four olds", and lost their popularity.  Sadly, for most Chinese, they've never regained their popularity; very few Chinese today will follow those traditions.

On the other hand...some of the old traditional customs were done to EMPHASIZE that the woman was the man's property, and not his equal.  And it is understandable that some Chinese today might consider those old-fashioned and inappropriate.

However, I think it should be possible to find a way to create a good compromise...to maintain some of the older, more beautiful and meaningful traditions of the marriage ceremony, while also demonstrating the equality and love of the two people getting married.

Just my thoughts.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2004-9-15 22:22:28 |Display all floors

hmm...

a lot of face....? wow....
Ramish, i suggest you see some  movies and novels about China in the old days.....The Joy Luck Club would be a nice choice!

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Post time 2004-9-16 10:22:44 |Display all floors

Maybe you can get your answer from the movies directed by Yimou Chang...

He is a good director in China. and some of his works reflect the marriage ceremonies in Northwest China, quite traditional and impressive...What's more, I suggest you to read some books wrote by Chinese authors such as Zhongshi Chen and Yan Mo...also you can refer to some authority social writtings where you can find answers...

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2004-9-16 13:25:44 |Display all floors

to canadianguy

"During the Cultural Revolution, these traditional style weddings were considered one of the "four olds", and lost their popularity. Sadly, for most Chinese, they've never regained their popularity; very few Chinese today will follow those traditions."

I think the traditional wedding ceremony can easily be found in the countryside of China. The popularity doesnot have a direct connection with Cultural Revolution, i believe. The factor which really altered the wedding ceremony of Chinese ppl is the reformation and open-up. Chinese ppl approach more and more of western styles. Maybe owing to fashion or novelty, Chinese young generations prefer to have a MODERN wedding ceremony and most of them even prefer the wedding of western style. As you know the traditional Chinese wedding ceremony is decorated with scarlet clothes , while more and more Chinese girls now prefer white skirts and take it as a fashion. I personally think they just find it COOL.

The wedding ceremony in countryside is wonderful. The brides still wear a red cloth to hide her head and doesnot remove it until she is sent to the new HOUSE. hehe. I witnessed the ceremony in my childhood. I am  convinced the tradition has been kept till present. I just have no chance to ensure whether there is great changes on it.

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