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educated women and marriage [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2004-8-1 09:31:55 |Display all floors
I have heard that is difficult for women with PhDs to find boyfriends/ husbands in China. Do you think this is true? Why/ why not?

Has anyone out there had any personal experience with this?

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Post time 2004-8-1 21:37:33 |Display all floors

To:melslee - Re:PhD- women and marriage

It is not neccessarily true.

If your premise is true, it may be a self-imposed handicap.

All intelligent people don’t have the piece of paper for various reasons, but they also are not intimidated by those who have.

The solution is to not allow a piece of paper put you in a self imposed ivory tower where you cannot be reached.

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Post time 2004-8-8 05:58:37 |Display all floors

my opinion!~

Traditionally speaking, there are only two reasons for a well-educated woman(with a PH.D degree) have no boyfriend. One is that she must be very ugly or mannish which keeps her from dating. The other reason lies in that now that she is very well-educated and knowledgeable ,she must have exerted herself for making progress and will propably became a war horse inthe future. In China, man plays a dominative role in family and society, so, almost no man would be happy to bear that his mate surpass him, which will bring him mockery. In this sense, such kind of a woman are facing this embarrassment!~

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Post time 2004-8-8 10:58:30 |Display all floors

Some reasons

Hi all,

This is such an interesting question. I have heard so many times this sentence "Men are the head of families", "Men must work and women stay at home", and so on.

From the statement above we can establish that a man "should make more money than his wife". This, being such an stupidity, remains true in the hearts of many westeners and chinese. This is indeed an international issue.

So we can say that culture could be a first problem. A man would feel threatened if his wife/girlfriend makes more money than him.

Second, there is something interesting about "smart" people. You will be surprised about how many people, shy or underconfident, finds shelter in the education. To earn a degree makes them feel useful, intelligent and valuable. Many they are not naturally smart, but they study hard to tell the society (or their friends, or their parents) that they are worth something. Once they get the degree and face real life they find that outside their work the aura of confidence dissapears, and thus they have problems dating.

Where does the lack of confidence comes from? Usually people pay too much attention to the stereotype of what is beautiful. In my case, I always dreamed of being taller. I am 1.72cm, which here is ok, but still when I was young this used to hit hard in my confidence to date girls, as the people on TV looked way taller than me.

Finally, some people with PhDs believe they are better than the rest. That simply makes any possible date puke...:) I had a workmate once. He had a degree from a very prestigious US university, and trust me that he spared no time in telling everybody about it. As a result he could never keep a date for more than a month.

To me, I dream to find a girl who I can help to be successful in life and she can make 10 times more money than me. I know that by helping her she will always love me, or at least this is my belief. Trust me, I will still be a "man" if my girlfriend or wife makes more money than me.

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