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Living together before marriage?   [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2014-12-16 11:48:08 |Display all floors
One of my friends asks me if it is a right decision to live with her boyfriend before marriage. In Chinese culture, “living together” before marriage is taboo. A good girl is believed to keep her virginity until she is married. I personally think that living together has its merits as you can see each other without blindfolds. It's really easy to hide certain negative aspects when you're merely dating. Do you think that it is absolutely necessary for a couple to actually live together for a period of time before getting married?

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Post time 2014-12-16 19:31:36 |Display all floors
absolutey neccessary    at least for 1 year    otherwise cant know if 24/7 fits
some day Jiangsu will rule China

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Post time 2014-12-16 22:42:14 |Display all floors
I suppose every individuals has their own perspectives toward this kind of situation, to air my views according to my concept, I am not in favor of living together before marriage, maybe I am a little conservative to some extent. as for myself, our relationship between my boyfriendans me had lasted almost one year, but both we respect each other and he never forced me to so anything that would not abide by my willingness. When we go out for traveling and it is inevitable to spend night together. even thought we sleep one bed, but I am still keep virginity until now. So, I am very grateful for my boyfriend..

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Post time 2014-12-16 23:44:10 |Display all floors
This post was edited by casseopeia at 2014-12-17 06:19

It depends on the guy and how much I love him.

Edit. In general I don't find it acceptable to live together before marriage, because once you decide you can live together, then I think it's also time for marriage...

I just don't want to be so fixed in my opinion, because I remember that I have Danish friends who have children but they never plan on getting married, though they live together. It's just different ways of doing things for different cultures. I was very surprised when she told me she had a child. I said to her, I didn't know you were married. She said, she's not, and never planning to. I asked her how come. She said, well, he's a nice guy and she trusts him. I've seen their photos, they do look happy together, and the guy looks very friendly and kind-hearted. So marriage is just a piece of paper, but it only works if that's how your culture works.

I like to follow the traditional way of doing things, so long as it's not abusive or hurtful...I think you should consider your parents' feelings. Chinese parents raise children very differently from how western parents raise theirs. I think it would be very ungrateful for the average Chinese to completely disregard their parents, but for the westerner it is different.

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Post time 2014-12-17 02:53:50 |Display all floors
I know plenty of chinese girls that live with their boyfriends before marriage. No problem, each couple has to decide for their own and not listen to the parents or others.

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Post time 2014-12-17 03:19:16 |Display all floors
I met my Wife in 1969.

Even though this was the 'Flower Power' the 'Make Love Not War' years

She would not agree to us living together before we married.

That doesn't mean that we didn't indulge in sexual activities. But in her eyes at that time it was for the respect of her parents.

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Post time 2014-12-17 06:04:56 |Display all floors
Mugy Post time: 2014-12-16 22:42
I suppose every individuals has their own perspectives toward this kind of situation, to air my view ...

out of curiousity, why is it inevitable? ...you can't book 2 rooms?

ps. you should keep the details of your virginity private...

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