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Are traditional 'family values' outdated?   [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2014-11-27 10:02:47 |Display all floors
Whenever I hear or read the words “traditional family values” I cringe. I was raised in a traditional family, one which, on the surface at least, appeared to correspond with the powerful religious ideologies of the time: husband as dominant male patriarch; wife being dutiful, hard-working and subservient, and two polite, well-behaved children. However, like many such families, the reality was different. The traditional family life of my childhood was often dysfunctional and oppressive; involving emotional abuse, physical abuse and its constant threat, and a great deal of fear. What was missing was happiness.

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Post time 2014-11-27 17:10:16 |Display all floors
the concept of traditional value is different from today's.
it is equality that make a family harmonious. in my opinion, traditional value are equality, loyalty  and love
it can never be outdated.

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Post time 2014-11-27 20:53:35 |Display all floors
i think the quotes belong to "traditional" rather than to "family values"...anyway, in my head i'm going through all the chinese wives that i know and i don't know any submissive chinese wife. if she loves her husband very much, then she will be more cooperative...but i would say she always have some say in the family, even if the chinese man may be very dominant and successful....

chinese parents may be more strict but at least the family is held together...i think westerners have broken families...for the westerner, often their friends are more important than their family....but not all chinese parents are super strict, only some and these make the most noise in the media...but i think verbal or physical abuse is always unnecessary and they are always more harmful than helpful...there should be absolutely no fear within the family.



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Post time 2014-11-27 21:15:51 |Display all floors
This post was edited by BB_Cream at 2014-11-27 21:36

Dysfunctional environment in Chinese family is commonly found in Chinese society. It seems an oppressive environment is a norm in Chinese family.

To me, it is an inherent culture of oppression from the dynasty days. The ways of fear and torment treatments were cultivated from the dynastic days.

It becomes part of their Chinese lives. Their growing up becomes part and parcel from these regimes of oppressive treatments.

Even then, there is still happiness in most children and family when they gathered to celebrate festive dinners together. There is still suppressed harmony when everyone puts aside their differences and hurts.

There are many ways to prevent of such oppressions in family. It will reduce dysfunctional family.

One aspects of things is for the government TV stations to come up with family educational programs in using professional speakers from the educational fields to teach people on how to speak and how to talk and how their tones of speeches can mean differently to the receiver.

They are many TV dramas that have good family story should be broadcasted so that people can learn and observe the good behaviors from them. When people viewed them with agreement, they will emulate the good values of their behavious from them on how they should behave in them in their treating of their spouse and children, and the public as well.

Eventually, everyone assimilates their good behaviours from each other from their learning and emulating from other good mannered  family, peers,   and as well as the well-mannered  public, too. The good manners effects can also start from family, schools, shops, and offices, government officers, and party leaders.  

In society, learning by learning the correct aspects of behaviours is essential skill to our daily lives. In family, one has to be even more careful in their ways of expressing of bad behaviours, as it will affect the spouse and children a lot more than the people outside of the family.   


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Post time 2014-11-27 23:04:30 |Display all floors
casseopeia Post time: 2014-11-27 04:53
i think the quotes belong to "traditional" rather than to "family values"...anyway, in my head i'm g ...

Too many western families treat their children more like pets, than children. Give them a bed, food, all the toys they want and that's it. This can mostly be traced back to a declining standard of living. I say declining because it now requires a two parent income to provide a lifestyle than only took a single income in the past.

My own parents raised 3 children, sent one to college and own their own home. All this was done on a single income from an ordinary job. My entire neighborhood was the same. Today that is impossible on a single income from an average job. Proper parenting is now replaced by daycare centers and throwing cash at the kids.
Proud supporter of Blessing Hands Charity.  https://sites.google.com/a/blessing-hands.org/blessing-hands/

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Post time 2014-11-28 06:30:19 |Display all floors
craig32935 Post time: 2014-11-27 07:04
Too many western families treat their children more like pets, than children. Give them a bed, foo ...

""My own parents raised 3 children, sent one to college and own their own home. All this was done on a single income from an ordinary job. My entire neighborhood was the same. Today that is impossible on a single income from an average job.""

But we have to support all our parasitic billionaires.

What you describe is what is brought about by capitalism. More and more wealth and power being concentrated to
fewer and fewer people.

Today 85 of the richest people in the world have as much money as the lower 3,500,000,000 people on earth.
The vast majority of them are in the west where capitalism reigns supreme.

Here in the west I don't recall anyone being given a choice between supporting a family on one average income
or having the richest billionaires in the world. So much for the myth of "democracy".

If capitalism promotes innovation and creativity then why aren't scientists and artists the richest people in a capitalist nation?

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Post time 2014-11-28 08:14:50 |Display all floors
if it's true what you said .. then let it outdated !!!
you wouldn't like other children living in threat and fear and missing happiness..

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