Every time I invite my mom to go travelling a little bit or come to visit me here in Beijing, she finds it really difficult to leave home behind. There are so many things she’s concerned about, the dog, the flowers, her vegetables and everything! I would argue that there’s nothing valuable in the house, only old furniture and home appliances. But it’s home, she always says. She’s too attached.

I never thought much about buying a home of my own as I didn’t think it matters. It’s fun living in rentals and it’s like the start of a new adventure every time I move. This sounds phony. Let’s face it. I can’t afford a home in this city.

I didn’t want to buy a home for a few reasons. Money comes first that’s for sure. But I think I could manage to save enough for the down payment in a few years’ time. The question is, my desire to put all my savings and next 20-30 years’ income into the property that may not be the one I want is not that strong (the worries about finances).

I’m a freelancer. I travel a lot and I don’t come back home for two to three weeks sometimes. Home is like a longer stopover. It doesn’t seem to make much difference whether I rent or own the place. And one thing with freelancing is that stable gigs are not always easy to come by, thus making it difficult to plant roots.

Besides, I’m not sure that Beijing is the city I want to settle down in. I thought about the possibility of moving to the south in the future. My flat mates tried to dampen my enthusiasm for this idea by arguing that I would be in my 30s by then. Is this ageism? Why can’t I move to the south when I’m 30 something? Just kidding. They were implying that it’s possible I’m married (with or without kids) by then, in which case, staying put would be a better option. I wouldn’t be so easily discouraged by this tradition-like possibility and the thought of moving recurs.

But I’m seeing the other side of the coin.

There’s no problem with renting when I’m young. But imagine having to move around from time to time when I’m in my 70s or 80s, if I live that long. Probably wouldn’t be so much fun. And the cost of 30 years’ renting is no less than that of an apartment. Owning a home means being free from the fear of eviction when the owner decides to sell. And it’s always a smart investment choice.

But not a choice I’m free to make at this moment.

Our lease of the current apartment is due next month and we have to start a new round of house-hunting now. We got a good bargain last year with this contract, but not again this year, our agent warns us. The price is much higher now. Well, that’s the inevitable risk one has to take when renting.

I’ll take good care of my life and let the agency takes care of the house for now.