“I love you so much! I love you! I love you like I ever had a dog, or a cat! I LOVE YOU!!!”
I roared with laughter at this declaration of love from my 7-year old granddaughter, Katherine. No longer should we say 'I love you so much'; there is now a more profound way to express love. And, it can be amplified: 'I love you like I ever had 7 dogs and 5 cats!', for example.
Besides, 'I love you so much' is grammatically incorrect. There is no comparative or superlative to love, only degrees: an affinity for, liking, loving, revering, and adoring. Before I received that voice message from her, I would have said I adore that little girl; now I am on par with her: I love her at least 5 dogs and 5 cats. At least that much.
Fortunately, she sent her tidings via voice message, so that I can play it as often as I like, for as long as I own this phone.
And it just so happened that, that day, I was expecting company. They had barely made themselves comfortable when I begged for their attention and played them Katherine's message. They too laughed to tears. And then, the inevitable “You must miss your family so much!”.
From my students' perspective – they, who actively miss their family and home life, it must seem like sheer insanity for me to have abandoned my little red-haired love in order to live on the other side of the world, year after year. As we prepared our dinner together, the conversation turned once again to how I could possibly live with what must be a huge hole in my heart that needs my family nearby to fill it.
Strangely enough, I do not actively miss my family. Do other expats feel the same way about their families?
What with all the technology available today, we can stay in close contact with our loved ones, can't we? At times, especially around the holidays, my family and I chat daily, and we constantly send pictures back and forth. I am with them on Christmas morning, when the children open their gifts, via video call. This supposedly lonely outpost of mine is not as it would have been one hundred years ago, when teachers and missionaries only had the solace of handwritten letters to relieve their longing for home.
For me, where is home? With one grandchild living on the west coast of America and the others living on the east, should I be living on the same continent as them, I would most likely only be in touch with them via voice call, and would probably only visit once a year, as I do now, living in China. Well, maybe I would visit more than once.
Still, living in China prohibits many family doings. I can't touch, hug, kiss or play with my grandchildren. There are no trips to Mema's (what my g-kids call me), and no sleepovers at my house. I'm not physically present for their birthdays or other significant milestones. Forget dance recitals and boy scout outings; I only get to hear about them.
And that means that we have to put special effort into our relationship.
Would she work so hard to find new ways of expressing her deep feeling if I lived next door? Would
Katherine even be aware that the world is such a big place were I to live
in her immediate vicinity? Probably not. Even though I live exactly
12 time zones away from her, I am comforted to know I am in her
thoughts, as she is in mine. I think of how remarkable it is for this
little girl to be able to cultivate a long-distance relationship with
someone who only appears once a year, and that makes me admire her
even more.
So now I ask you: with Single's Day just past, did you tell anyone how many dogs and cats you love them? Go ahead: I dare you to!
"a common mistake made by many" - as apart from a common mistake made by few ?
"An idiolect - a speech pattern, is an individual's use of language." So if it's an individual's use
of language then how can that be widespread ? This is a contradiction in itself. A widespread
number of individuals ? So how is that different to common language usage ?
"As [ for ! ] my daughter's and my life experiences..." I thought that this article was about your granddaughter's
use of language. Unless the fruit hasn't fallen very far from the tree.
"If you find my syntax displeasing, why subject yourself to it?" I am generally not a masochist but this comment
appears to suggest that I should refrain from reading your blogs, let alone commenting upon them. Is this the case ?
"You brought the issue up, not me." You are the author of this blog, not me. Don't shoot the messenger.
No, it is a comment on incorrect grammar usage; a common mistake made by many.
An idiolect - a speech pattern, is an individual's use of language. Your aforementioned "Um, like, doing stuff is, like, fun" would be an example of widespread idiolect usage.
As my daughter's and my life experiences, educational background, social experiences and even regional dialects differ, I find her language usage - especially her use of profanity, irritating.
If you find my syntax displeasing, why subject yourself to it?
Not that I mind the banter. You brought the issue up, not me.
"Although, my daughter has some very irritating speech patterns."
Somewhat akin to your very irritating syntactical patterns.
"Besides, 'I love you so much' is grammatically incorrect. There is no comparative or superlative to love, only degrees: an affinity for, liking, loving, revering, and adoring." Isn't this comment about speech patterns ?
Neither she, her older brother or her parents speak that way. Although, my daughter has some very irritating speech patterns. But, this article is not about anyone's speech patterns; it is about how one little girl works so hard to declare her feeling for someone who lives on the other side of the world.
I do thank you for your interest, and for this lively discussion!
It's "most probably" in the majority and includes the likes of your adorable grand daughter.
Being as I don't personally know or converse with every single English speaker in the world, I'd be hard-pressed to answer that question.
Do you have those numbers?
So how many people these days use phrases such as "most quickly" ? How many people can speak for half a minute without saying "like" ?
Days of yore have come and gone, but adjectives and adverbs remain as they were then.
That is most certainly a throwback to days of yore when adverbs were used in the most delightful way. It is most sadly a fact that gentlemen refuse to wear pantaloons these days and that those most prettily decorated petticoats of many most pretty maids are mostly moribund.
Startling article; it seems full of contradictions.
"You can't solve a problem by changing the statistics or measuring criteria..." but it seems that is exactly what happened!
Thanks for sharing.
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