I'm back. Finally.

And more.

I'd been preparing for my third trip to Europe in April since the end of February, facing all kinds of problems and getting more and more agitated each day, while knowing that I must go. And after I came back, vulnerable physically and mentally, I had to, on the one hand, try to adjust to a new working environment (believe me, the environment, in the real sense of the word, verges on being unbearable), and on the other, start the long miserable self-healing process once again: cleaning the office, continuously visiting family and meeting friends, watching Friends, surfing the Internet randomly, etc, as long as they could keep me occupied so that I had no time to think about anything else. Then books came to my rescue during the Dragon Boat Festival, and I was touched by the exquisite sentimentality conveyed in Tender Is the Night and The Last Tycoon, like the first time I picked up The Great Gatsby. Meanwhile, I began to take a brisk walk or go jogging with my mom or by myself in Quancheng Square for an hour almost every night, which was beyond my initial expectation and was so worth it.

Quancheng Square at night is a scene of great gatherings or parties of people from all walks of life. On the east side, hundreds of people arrive early, so as to occupy a favourable place for the grand musical fountain show starting at 8:00. Little kids run back and forth, while couples sit quietly under the sunset. Then as you move westward, you'll be attracted to different groups of dancers in various styles: pas de deux or group dance, folk dance or modern dance. Be it teenager or elder, each one is showing himself and enjoying life in a distinctive way.

And the most noteworthy performers are the couple playing the saxophone and singing at the entrance of the square every night. A blind man himself, he could play the saxophone and sing to the music as good as professionals, while his wife hold a microphone beside him as support, or sing herself at intervals. They would stand there for hours and their beautiful melodies touch right into your soul. So each time I felt sluggish and wanted to just curl up in the sofa and watch TV serials, I would think of them and told myself: "They're there!" Then I'd get changed, and began my one-hour exercise of sweat and looking-around, after which peace and tranquility prevail.

The other day, Angela (the protagonist in Believing in Love) asked me how I felt when I was running, and I answered: "It's like the whole world belongs to you". So I'm cured, different from all previous times thanks to the magic of exercises. I finally went through the phase of feeling "all this was meaningless", and enjoy my present life of working hard, eating happily, exercising a little bit, reading avariciously, cherishing family accompany, planning trips just for myself, and picking up writing essays and continuing with travelogues.

I am a free and whole person again. This feels so great!