Believing in Love
2016-02-14
A friend of mine recently broke up with her Polish boyfriend. This three-year, cross-cultural, and long-distance (with they two staying in China and England respectively for two years) relationship has stirred no small ripples in her family, friends and colleagues, and dramatic scenarios never ceased taking place: she flew to Poland to spend Christmas with his family and he came back twice to visit her in China; her mother so disapproved of her from the moment she got to know they were dating that she not only refused to see the guy, but knelt down to beg her daughter to end it; her friends kept on persuading her to give up, as they couldn’t get married within a short time under the current circumstances and that was especially important for girls. Among all the people she knew, I was the only one supporting her to stick to it, as I could always see light in her eyes whenever she talked about her beloved one, and I knew how much they had been through, and how much more she loved him and wanted to share the rest of her life with him. But due to the huge pressure from almost everyone, she yielded at last.
“I don’t have love any more. Chen Ning, do you still believe in love?” She asked me.
“Of course. Why not?”
“I knew you would say so. You, you’re the only one I know who believe in love!”
And I knew what she accused of me is true. As a twenty-nine-year-old woman, I’ve seen almost all my good friends get married successively in the past few years. Some married to their high school or college sweethearts and are now having their happy and cozy family of three, while the others went on lots of blind dates before they finally met the one. I know they are together for various reasons, and for whatever reasons I sent and will always send my most sincere wish to them, as only you yourself know best of what you truly want.
So what has loving someone given me? Boundless tears, uncontrollable sadness, unresolved questions and long waiting. For quite a long time I became so sentimental, sensitive and vulnerable that I avoided any positive contacts with people and was about to slide into depression. But again, what has love given me? Courage, determination, strong sense of happiness and profound love for life. I still remember when the man said “I love you” to me in the most earnest way, I was feeling that was the happiest moment in my entire life. Although it hadn’t developed the way I expected, I knew I would say yes without hesitation again if I had been given another chance. During the long and gradual period of self-recovery, I became more inclusive, patient and understanding. I now cherish time more and enjoy every moment spent with my family and friends. I’m eager to become a better person, be stronger and more independent, take exercises regularly and learn new things, and above all, always smile without complaints.
I’ve always been lucky to be surrounded by people that gave me unconditional support and encouragement, wherever I am and whatever life period I am in. One of my roommates in high school once told me: “You have to be patient, as you prince is coming all the way for you. But as he has to crosses over the mountains and fight against the monsters, it’d take a while.” And I have some friends who feel I’m “too good to marry randomly”. I know they are mostly comforting me so that I won’t rush for it and regret it later on, but I always feel grateful they think that way. I’m always idealized. I believe that love is the most beautiful and natural feeling beyond reason and logic. It is spontaneous and intuitive, and gives you infinite powers to face any difficulty. When you are with the man, you never think about whether he has a car or a house, whether you two are suitable for each other in terms of background, or whether you are matched in other people’s eyes; all you feel is that time is fleeting, the rain is singing and dancing for you, and you couldn’t help smiling and giggling all the time. Just like someone often uses “I’m not smart enough” as an excuse for not trying hard, many people keep saying that once you enter marriage after a few years, all the love will gradually fade away and turn into living, so it just doesn’t matter whom you marry to. But I’m determined to try it and find the answers myself. I know I’m being selfish this way, and I’m constantly tortured by the fact that all my family are worried about me and are eager to see me get married, but this is my last insistence and I will try as hard as I can.
I’m here for the man with whom forever is not enough. This is my belief in love.
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