I
am a deep individual by nature. Perhaps there is a vein of melancholy in my
character, which I inherited from my introverted and cranky father. I think and
contemplate a lot whether when I am alone or with others. I pay special
attention to the most minor details that most people may overlook or think
insignificant. I would get emotional and shed tears of joy or grief over a lot
of events, like reading a tragic novel, watching football matches and seeing an
animal cub suffering from losing its mother. As I grow older, I always wonder
why I am such a sensitive woman as to upset myself by worrying about a bunch of
meaningless stuff. Once I abhorred myself, reckoning that I would amount to nothing
but merely a worthless and unworthy being. However, life and age did teach me a
lot of philosophies, one of which is that there is nothing good or bad about
one’s temperament. So long as one focuses on his positive aspects and avoids its
negative influence, he can enjoy a happy and healthy life. Born with melancholy
in my blood, I am always involved in fighting against negative emotions and my
battle against the demon goes like this.
For the past thirty years of life, I had never related depression to my
life, nor had I expected that I would be a victim of it. If I did know
something about the mental disease, it should be that the people who are
suffering it might be unhappy and lose all their interest in life. It’s not
until my baby was born that I had a face-to-face encounter with the horrible
disease. According to my doctor, my brain may be lacking in a certain chemical
after childbirth, which caused melancholy and extreme anxiety. In that most
dark period, I prayed genuinely again and again to the Mighty God that the
demon would be gone soon and never return to plague my any longer. It lasted
about a month and then it’s gone forever. After that, I made a deep reflection
on my life and my way of thinking, which helps transform me in a number of
ways. In some sense, depression is just a common disease. It may cure one of
his fatal defects in his character and help him grow to be a better person. There
is nothing to fear if you happen to get caught in a whirlpool of despair. Just
be brave and you can conquer everything!
Above
all, I become more tough and stronger than ever. Once I always regarded myself
as a crying baby, resigning myself to fate whenever something unpleasant arose.
Nevertheless, the big blow helps exercise my willpower, making me a woman of
steel. In this world, nothing can crush me but myself. Even a ruin will give off holy light with support of a
mighty heart. Then I learned always to be grateful to
nice people around and everything I possess. During my baby-blue period, it’s
my family members and friends who encouraged me and helped me out of the dark
shadow. And here I should also express my heart-felt gratitude to my loyal
doctor who provided me with warm counseling whenever I needed help. Certainly, I
am more grateful to my son, who brought much pleasure to my life, whose
appearance switched my role from an ordinary woman to a loving mother. A mother
is expected to make more sacrifice and shoulder more responsibilities, which
acts as a lighthouse that illuminates my way ahead. Next, I learned to let
things go. Once I was too stubborn and intolerant of others’ opinions or
criticisms. Now I have learned to accept people and things as they really are
and let nature take its course rather than myself being a dictator. Thus, I
feel light-hearted and never bring trouble to myself if it doesn’t come to me. Finally,
I stopped pushing myself too hard. Once I was a tireless doer and therefore I
always imposed piles of tasks on myself until I got crumbled under great
pressure. Looking back, it’s really silly of me to spur myself into spinning
like a gyro, which not only drained my energy, but also did great harm to my
health. Now I have learned to slow down my pace and set aside enough time to
admire tiny things in life, such as enjoying a sunset, observing birds perching
in window-sill, or just sitting down idling. Whenever I set my mind at rest, I
feel more relaxed and content with my present life.
Life is
unpredictable. At one time or another, we all may meet with misfortunes and
disasters. Or rather, everyone has days when they feel dejected or down. Disease
or hardship itself is not horrible at all. What we should do is to despise them
and make them our slaves. We human beings are the final winner of every unfair play
in the arena of life.
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