What to do with a failed love
2016-01-30
Love
is an unfathomable thing. It can be capricious and volatile like active gases
in the air. We may chance upon it in the least unexpected situations; or we may
lose it instantly while we are passionately in love. Love is an unknown
quantity, which may vary with one’s vision, state of mind, sentiments, external
influences or it’s simply a matter of instant decision. Thus, it’s advisable
that we should adopt an open and frank attitude to our relationships in case we
may get into a dead end. When the other half insists on leaving, there is no
need to clutch at him arms and beg him to stay. In that case, just be
magnanimous and let him or her go; the world won’t end if you broke up. The
following strategies may help you get through a failed love with great ease.
The first step is to make a self-reflection. Instead of bashing the
other half bitterly and tearfully, let’s review our own words and deeds and get
to know our own faults. Do I have some manners that are offensive to him? Am I
a confident girl in front of him? Is there any misunderstanding that made him
turn me off? Nobody is perfect. Even if the relationship is hopelessly
incurable, rather than blame fate or other people, we may as well convert our
sorrow into strength and take the opportunity to transform ourselves into a better
person. It’s awful experiences rather than favorable circumstances that make us
grow. In some sense, a failed love can open a brighter door to a more exciting
world. Without experiencing something painful, life may be incomplete.
Next,
make a general judgment about that person objectively and fairly. If her is
merely a playboy flirting with you for temporary pleasure, give him a hard lesson
by confronting him and declaring to him that you have the least interest in a
dishonest man with him affected pretensions and then make a clean-cut with him.
However, if the person is a honest guy and it is some other factors, like
character incompatibly, life habits, or diverged career paths that caused your splitting
up, then be sensible enough to take a forgive-and-forget approach and still keep
in touch by regarding him as a common friend if necessary. After all, where
there is a friend, there is a way. Just as the saying goes that it’s better to
convert an enemy into a friend. Sometimes, we may learn to shut all our senses
to the things happened to us. Closing
your eyes, you will get the whole world.
Then
you may ask what if you still falsely clinged to that person when he has
stepped out of your life? Now I will tell you that nobody is irreplaceable in
this world and that with a bit of courage, you are sure to walk out of the
shadow and move on to the future. The quickest way of forgetting a person is to
make a list of the flaws he possesses, such as his ugly eyebrows, his
disgusting way of speaking, or his lack of compassion for the vulnerable
groups. These shortcomings can make very good reasons for you to let him go. What’s
the use of allowing his ugly image lingering in your mind? Then smash the
presents he sent you and tear up all your photos and diaries you kept and throw
them into dustbin. Whether beautiful or ugly, those reminders belong to the
past which are bound to go with the wind, disappearing into the ether. Then you
will heave a long sigh that you finally kicked that worthless bustard out of
your mind. It is in tears and sorrows that you struck on a great faith that a
girl should learn to love herself before she begins a relationship with other
men.
Eventually, your anger and indignity may get
appeased, and you may set out to plan another date. Don’t lose heart. There are
always some nice guys out there meant for you. The road to happiness is strewn
with setbacks. Even if you failed half a dozen times, you must stand tall and
keep your chin up, believing that you are the most proud princess in the world.
Some day when you look back, each painful experience may serve as a rich
treasure that you harvested and accumulated into your life palace. Eventually,
you will meet your Prince Charming at the time when you have perceived what
real love is and got well prepared for it.
It is only a chapter in the book of your life.
Some chapters are longer than others and some are wonderful, some are not.
But they are all in your book.
There is no "bad" love. There is only love. You absolutely WILL forget the pain after enough time but you will never forget the good feelings that you had for him or her.
And this brings us to one of the most difficult parts of any relationship that has ended. The dumper and the dumpee.
The dumper is the one that ended the relationship and the dumpee is the one that gets hurt the most.
The dumper feels that he is in control while the dumpee feels that he has no control at all.
The dumper finds it easy to begin a new relationship yet the dumpee often finds a new, rewarding relationship to be more difficult to start.
Your amazing adventures, as chronicled in the next chapter of your life, will be interesting to read!
Failed love should be also cherished as the perfect jade in the mind as if time could be frozen in that period!----------We should not feel sad for the bitter and sweet memory about the past!
be careful!
English speakers don't talk of 'meeting their Prince Charming' !!
I have only heard this expression in China
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