The first time I’ve learnt something about homosexuality, is when I read Oscar Wilde’s book De Profundis, a long letter he wrote in prison to his ex-lover, a man.

What stroke me in the book was not the appeals and blames Wilde laid between his words against the injustice of society and selfishness of his ex-boyfriend, but that while reading the story, I totally forgot his was loving a man, but just loving someone, and would give the best to him like all those others falling in love.

So, although it is my first time to know that homosexuals really exist, I feel nothing but deeply moved, and appreciate the author even more. Now more than a hundred years past, gays today in most west countries and some of the other nations and regions in the world appear to be more lucky than those in Wilde’s time. The situation in China, is also improving.

Despite of that, there are still some general problems that facing homos in China now, either in a personal or societal way, and I want to talk about some of the problems I know of according to stories I heard form either my homo friends or interviews through Internet.

The first one is that whether their parents will be able to accept their sexual orientation. Because our parents' generation knows so little about such things that they might not be able to jump out of the box of heterosexuality all of a sudden. When been put in such a dilemma, some people choose not to come out of the closet but resort to lavender marriage, thus creating an appearance of heterosexuality. Some choose to come out of the closet, painfully but at least more relieved. I always think it is a better choice to tell parents about who you are even at the last second until it is too late. If you are brave enough to face a life-long bondage of hiding your identity, why can’t you have the courage to face your parents’ broken hearts, plus they are heart-broken because they think you might suffering for that, so it might also be better to tell them at a time when you’re mature and independent and powerful enough. Although speak truth is a painful thing, to be forced to tell lies is much worse.

The second problem I can think about is social pressure, while it is really not as serious as before. Thanks to the Internet, which brought all forms of Boy Love (BL), including BL fictions, BL radio dramas or chat-rooms ubiquitous on the virtual world, a growing number of people in reality now grow an understanding or even affection towards the relationship between gays and lesbians. Though there are still lots of those who live in rural areas can hardly change their deep-rooted thinking patterns, as more people, young people especially, settle down in more advanced urban areas, they will find themselves more acceptable by peers around. Also, if your parents can accept who you are, than that will just overshadows all other barricades.

Just as Oscar Wilde said: “I would not care about being loved on false pretences. There is no reason why a man should show his life to the world. The world does not understand things. ” That’s the thing, there is no need to explain, especially to those whose affection you desire not.