Workplace Drama & Cultural Differences: What to do?
2014-05-26
So up until now, I thought I at least had a decent level of understanding of Chinese culture, but after some recent drama at my work, I realize I just completely do not. This situation is completely unfathomable in America so I just have no idea what to do. Here is the issue: Myself and another foreign teacher were given desks in an office full of Chinese teachers. I use the desk once or twice a week for a few hours. Whenever we go into the office, the Chinese teachers treat us very coldly and often ignored us when we simply said, "Hello." This didn't bother me since I just wanted a quiet workplace, but the other foreign teacher stopped using the office because of the cold treatment (maybe I should've gotten the hint). Since my home internet often does not work, my husband sometimes comes to my office to use the internet for his work. He also brings me lunch or dinner if I am really busy with work. He has been to my office maybe 15 times in 8 months
About a month ago, my supervisor who had given me the desk said that some teachers were returning from America and needed to use the desk, but there was another office for foreign teachers. I asked about this office, but found that the office was not open during lunch or dinner, which is when I do most of my work, so I emailed my supervisor to ask if I could share the desk with whomever because our office has about 10 desks, but never has more than 3 teachers using it at one time.
A few days ago, I went to my office as usual and it was a particularly hot day so I turned on the AC, but I forgot to turn it off. The next day, my supervisor asked me to immediately vacate my desk because I forgot to turn off the AC. She also claimed that she never received my previous email. I apologized for the AC and restated my email, which was that I only use the office a few hours a week and there are plenty of desks available so I thought it would be a fair compromise to share.
She was having none of it and insisted I leave immediately and also referenced that several people have complained about my husband being in the office. This was the first I ever heard of this. First of all, he rarely comes and when he does come he is very quiet and simply does his work on his laptop. Second of all, my coworkers bring in their children all the time who are extremely loud and disruptive. I felt there was a double standard being imposed on me, especially since the other foreign teacher who has a desk in that office was not asked to leave.
I spoke with the foreign affairs liaison and she told me she would get me a key to this new office and I could use it whenever I wanted, but she couldn't give me the key right then, so I told my supervisor who wants to kick me out of the office that I would leave as soon as possible, but I didn't have access to the new office yet.
She once again insisted that I leave immediately and her message contained many childish lies that were clearly very personal and not professional at all.
This person has a lot of seniority at my school and I understand this is very different than in America where people are perceived as equal to their boss. I started to think I might get fired over this silly issue so I contacted the foreign affairs liaison asking for her to resolve this issue for me and her email back was not very nice.
Obviously, there are too many details to explain everything, but this is the gist of it. I understand that the Chinese are very indirect with their communication so it makes sense that no one would have told me directly that there was a problem with having my husband in the office, but I wish they would've said something before they decided to kick me out because of it. I went to the foreign affairs liaison because I didn't want to piss off my supervisor further and wanted advice on how to handle the situation, but instead managed to really piss her off.
Are there any Chinese (or foreigners with a good understanding of Chinese culture) out there who can tell me what I did wrong and what I should do?
I'll definitely keep my fingers crossed for you. Please keep us posted. Wish you a good evening.
It is definitely a possibility. I hope not though and right now I don't think I will simply because of the need for English teachers, but I have heard stories of previous teachers being fired for campaigning for better treatment.
That's a tough situation. Do you think it might cause you to lose your position, as you mentioned? I'd hate to think that. If the worst does come to pass, do you have another job lined up? I hope for the best for you.
No has screamed at me thankfully! Just passive aggressive messages/emails, which honestly I like even less. I've decided not to stand for what I believe in. It is not worth the stress and not worth getting fired.
Yea, it is pretty ridiculous. I have heard that about Chinese teachers before, but I thought they would be happy to have a chance to practice their English with a native speaker. Especially since they're English isn't very good.
Thanks for your advice!
I have had a few opportunities. The supervisor who is kicking me out invited my husband and I to dinner at the beginning of the year and we had a great time together. I thought we were friends, which is the hurtful part. The other teachers I would try to make small talk with in the office, but they were very cold so I stopped trying. Honestly, I'm a little sour on Chinese English teachers right now so I don't think I'll invite them to my home. I just have trouble getting over the way they treated my husband and I :/
I have made friends with other Chinese teachers around the school, but not specifically in the foreign language department. Also, I chat with teachers in the teacher's lounge, but truthfully I don't even see the Chinese English teachers outside of the office so now I won't see them anymore.
There were 3-4 teachers. Yea, I didn't pick up on that at all! I guess I'm a little dense. The problem with the foreign teacher's office is that 20 teachers share 1 desk, but not many people even know about it or use it so it shouldn't be too big of a problem.
I tried to get the foreign affairs liaison to act as my intermediary, but she refused to help me, I think because the other teacher has superiority over her.
They are jealous of you. I don't know how you can resolve this but sometimes you need to stand for what you believe in. Don't be afraid to argue and scream back if they screamed at you.
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