Dave
2014-01-15
I met Dave when he was still in his mothers womb. I had been going to this NGO centre where I met his mum, a frail drug dependant, 6 months into pregnancy. We went through numerous counselling sessions and the day came when Dave had to be brought into this world by ceaserean and I was quietly pleased that all went well. It all happened on the 6th day of the Spring Festival nearly 24 years ago.....
I visited Dave once every month and watch him grow but it was a very sad scenario. Before he could walk, I watched a malnourished baby soaked in urine and crying his lungs out each time I visited, while his mum was still sleeping. When he could crawl around, he was still the very angry urine soaked crying baby. He would bang his head on the floor and wailed his heart out. They rented a room upstairs a coffeeshop and there was this long flight of stairs which you come downstairs by. I was told by the people around there that the mum wakes up at around 2pm, puts Dave in the basket in front of the bicycle and would be away till 2 or 3 am, when she would then bathe him with cold water amidst all the wailings and screamings and slappings.
When he started walking and talking, I often found him sitting on the last step of the long stairway, in his little underpants, still urine soaked and staring into space. Looking at the flight of stairs, I was so worried that he might tumble down one fine day, but the people around told me that he descended the stairway backwards. He had no expression except to cry when he was hurt. Through it all, Dave grew and I had never seen him sick. At about 3 to 4 years of age, he was surviving on the glass of water and fruits left on the alter beside the stairway while waiting for his mum to wake up from her stupor. Whatever money given to him was taken away by the mum and I resorted to buying him some necessities while the coffeeshop owner gave him food. But through it all, Dave was still expressionless and seldom talked, it was always a shake of his head for no and a hmmm for yes. it was hard to get through to him as he was always staring into space.
Dave started school armed only with whatever I manage to teach him, meanings of certain words and the alphabets. By then, I was visiting him more often and he would come to the centre after school.This lasted till he was about 12 years old when his mum took him out of school. He then started helping around the coffeeshop and his meagre wages paid to his mum. This went on till he was 14 or 15 years old. Then he joined a certain 'uncle' and started servicing airconditioners and keeping some of his pay. On his 18th birthday, we had a long talk and Dave cried and cried and soon he was opening up and talking about his feelings. I then through some 'guan xi' got him a job where he had to stay away from his mother. I assured him that it was alright that he was not qualified, so long as he is willing to learn, is hardworking, polite and humble, and honest in whatever he does, he should be able to go through a decent life. It was not an easy journey and we had to overcome alot of hardship but I made sure I was always there to cry with him.
Dave went from strength to strength, he has kept his promise to learn, to be hardworking, polite and humble and honest. Today, he is full of expressions and jokes, any setback will be considered minor, compared to what he has been through. It will be Daves 24th birthday in about 3 weeks time and guess what, he received the keys to his own apartment last September. So I guess this will be his happiest birthday yet. I am just so happy that he has turned out to be a decent human being. He may not be highly qualified, but this self preserving spirit - Dave - has given me reason to be proud.
When I saw his mother, it was my job, but as time goes on, it was just impossible not to care and I am glad I did.
Thanks for your comment, but I believe hard work, humility and honesty does pave the road for success.
Thank you. Yes, I am proud of him for keeping to his promise to be ever willing to learn, to be courteous and humble and to be truthful in whatever he does.
Besides, you are really honerable for unselfishly and voluntarily supporting him.
It reminds me of my two neighbours from a poor background who now enjoy big sucesses in both family and business. Family backgrounds shouldn't be obstacles for being sucessful. But succeeding in a bad background indeed surprises and encourages us to work harder and be a successful man like them.
Yes, liu5222512, whatever he has been through is all over now and I can actually say he is stronger mentally and physically than alot of others. He took a 90% bank loan for his apartment and he has to service his payments for the next 30 years.......but that was what he wanted. I would like to believe that Dave and I are connected in some ways, but even if not, every human being is born equal and should at least be given the chance to prove himself. Dave had no chance at all even before he was born. Thank you so much for your comment and I am really not ashame to say that I feel really proud of him. However meagre your salary, so long as you are a decent human being I am sure the hope to succeed will always be there and you might just realise it one day. Persistence always pay.
Whatever he has been through,the ups and downs,the joys and sorrows,it's over.
And he is stronger than most of us now.
I can not afford to buy a apartment on my own even in a little backward county.
For meager is my salary.
Thanks for the sharing of your volunteering story and what you've done to Dave.
That is a spirit or blief through which you and Dave are connected.
And we should have the blief that all men are created equal.And we should help each other,coz we are human.
You have every reason to be proud for it is amazing for a young Chinese at age of 24 to have his own apartment.
And respectfully,you are our pride!
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