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Attachment Parenting

Popularity 1Viewed 939 times 2016-2-12 22:10 |Personal category:Views|System category:Life

These days, I have watched several foreign movies, such as A Different Father, The Last Journey, No se Aceptan Devolucion es and so on. These are mostly about the moving moments between parents and children, which touch my heart greatly. They use their experience to educate kids how to survive and how to be a valuable person. Every time they teach their children in a thought-provoking way, I will be sunk into a deep thought about Chinese education and parenting style

I, ever living as a natural and free bird in my sky, really envy their parenting style. I call their type of parenting Attachment Parenting, which reminds me of one article I ever read.

In this article, the author thinks highly of the attachment parenting, and holds the view that Attachment Parenting is child-centic and focuses on the needs of the child. It simply believes that the child and the parent are allies, not adversaries, and that children are not taught, not trained. This kind of parenting is not Indulgent Parenting, “afraid of tears” parenting, Clingy Parenting, or Helicopter Parenting, but just what children need.

I totally agree with that though I am not a parent. I have noticed many abnormal phenomena how parents parent their children in my surroundings. Some parents regard their children as the best treasure granted by god. When they go shopping, parents will try their best to satisfy the needs of the children. Whatever children wants, including toys, sweets, fancy clothes, interesting games, or something else, they will purchase them for their kids. When kids cry, they sometimes will naturally become irritated about kids’ tantrums, or attempt using toys to make their children happy. When their kids get good marks, they wish they could reward kids with what they all possess. 

I understand that all these actions are due to their deep love for kids, but this kind of parenting style sometimes is just a little extreme. It seems that they are spoiling their kids, giving everything that they think kids want regardless of what kids need and regardless of what is practical. Maybe what their kids really need is not just these. For instance, when kids cry, or get frustrated, they just want to express themselves as their emotions at that time are just so overwhelming that they need to give it out. It can’t be common and natural enough, actually. They don’t expect to be “rewarded” for their strong negative emotions. Instead, they simply expect that their parents can respond to that, and give their love and comfort, which is very important for them to get over bitter sufferings. 

When I was a kid, my parents worked outside to earn money. Therefore, I failed to express myself when I was upset about bad grades, or joyful about being praised by my teachers. As I couldn’t reach the place that belongs to love, I simply wrote my feelings in my diary secretly. You know, how I wish my mom would sit besides me and listen to my stories during that period. How I wish my dad would teach me something that couldn’t be learned from my textbook. I was not spoiled like other kids, but I didn’t desire that. What I needed was simple, just obtaining comfort and love from my parents.

Although I am not a mom now, I still can feel the effect and efficiency of Attachment Parenting. Maybe in the future, I will let my child do the things that he wishes to do, and gives him what he needs most instead of I think what he wants most. I hope he could trust and respect me with my reasonable love for him. I hope I can listen to his talking about his happiness and sorrow. I hope I can set a nice example and have a deep impact on my kid, and then lead him to things that are right. I hope I, as a real parent, can give my kid a happy and significant life. 

Haha, it is obvious that I am a little excited about the topic, but no other meanings. Definitely, parents in the world are all great and nice as they nourish their kids with unconditional love. They deserve respect and love from their kids too. Just wish that parents provide wise love for their kids and ensure them to grow up happily and safely.

(Opinions of the writer in this blog don't represent those of China Daily.)




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