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If you could be a celebrity chef, what would your specialty be?

Popularity 1Viewed 1257 times 2019-5-27 04:59 |System category:Life

"If I could learn to cook food, I would make roast chicken and roast turkey for Saith every day," said Nirvana. 

Nirvana mothered the tribe, having jumped past Death one warm February day in Penghu. The entire tribe, including my son, were born on 25 January, or would have been had it been decent then. So January 25th is my children's birthday. I have learned to cook. I make salmon tomato olive stew with fried mushrooms. Inspired by Chinese buns, I wrap foods in puff pastry and bake it in muffin tins, but it is only an approximation with a nostalgic memory. 

"Nirvana, what would you cook for yourself?" 

"Liver, chopped in gravy," smiled Nirvana showing a cat's sense of humour. "If you had to volunteer for a year, which cause would you choose?" 

I would change Heaven and Hell so they become reasonable, and I would ask: if you could start purgatory when you are 35 years old, so you can still do something about it, would you enter purgatory voluntarily while alive? 

"Sign me up for purgatory while alive," purred Boaz. 

"I guess if you had to stay with an animal for the rest of your life, it would be with a cat," said a stranger. 

Civil servants can hear birds' voices announce changes in the atmosphere, and that's valuable information. Fish calm us and entertain cats. Personally, I would adopt two german shepherds if I could. And you? Which animal would you choose to keep you company for the rest of your life?

"I would choose a minpin. They're the cat-sized doberman pinschers," said Jachin the jumper. "I like jumping over them and racing with them." 

If you had to take a vacation at the same place for the rest of your life, where would it be? 

"No doubt, Chico, Montana. Many of us are from Montana long ago, through the generations of us. Chico has hot springs, horses, lakes for fishing, mountains for climbing, and the cabins have a sauna," said Orion. "I like playing with the fresh fish for fun." 

"If you had to buy one vehicle and keep it for the rest of your life, what would it be?" asked Orion. 

A yacht. Of course, I assume you know that had it been decent since the 1970s, as it was supposed to have been, I would have worked until I was a millionnaire and then I would have devoted myself to personal projects. Some people guessed I'd have been the billionnaire I could have been, but I would have quit the rat race. My projects matter to me. I want to finish my work. So, I would choose a yacht for mobile stability. 

"I'd join you on the yacht and maybe that way could convince you I need help," said Sammy. "I love it when you help me and I feel sad when you catch me lying about how much help I need."

""If you could discover a deserted island, what would you like to find on it?" asked Boaz. 

Life. The plant of eternal life. The benevolent species. The balance of life. The sword of truth. No parasites who aren't part of the life-cycle. 

"That's Heaven," said a stranger. 

No, it's Earth, before 1700. 

"If you could life through one important day in history, which would it be?" asked the stranger. 

"The day I knew I had a home indoors," purred Serendipity, "and my eyes shone with pure joy. I worked diligently for the tribe, so, all in all, I loathe who parted us and it wasn't mother, it was an economiss we know by the skills. How dare any western adult put destruction of a family on a task list post-Hitler?"

I hope it becomes fashionable again to talk about the holocaust seriously, as we were silenced about that during the 1990s. To talk of WWII was too politically incorrect then. 

If you could be put on a list so your life is changed beyond recognition, what list would you be added to? 

If I could live one day in history, it would be the day in 1700s when banks did something wrong. Liabilities are never assets. If I could live one day in history, it would be the day the native Micmacs of Nova Scotia became the natives who write words.

"I would live the day we exported goods instead of youth, in Mesopotamia," said Saith. "If you could erase one day from your past, which would it be, and why?" 

It wouldn't be in this life. Maybe we have previous lives, maybe not. Suppose there was a prior life, suppose I was murdered for an economic crime I didn't do and I reported to the authorities who were supposed to have been qualified, capable of understanding, decent, and on the side of anti-corruption. Suppose that in my previous 200 lives, I never once had to teach someone how to do his or her job. Then the one day I would erase is that day when a lazy police officer blamed an old woman for letting her purse get stolen, because surely it was because she wore sandals on her feet, same as everyone else, as was the fashion of the era. 

"I would live and relive the day you adopted me, the day I leapt in the broken window to escape the typhoon and so orphaned myself," said Xiaolong, who taught us all that broken hearts are the slowest wounds to heal. 

If you could add one awesome, fabulous, wonderful day to your life, what day would it be, what would happen, and why?


(Opinions of the writer in this blog don't represent those of China Daily.)


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Reply Report J.E.Overington 2019-5-27 05:17
"If you had to buy one vehicle and keep it for the rest of your life, what would it not be?" purred Orion.

I would not purchase an autonomous vehicle. The self-driving cars can be hacked into and accelerated or braked inappropriately. Maybe drivers will be held accountable for self-driving cars steering themselves off the road. I hope no car accidents happen, so, I recommend against autonomous cars until the technology cannot be hacked.

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