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yanjiaren
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ah all i know is that i know so little..

i don't know Xilaren..but i feel although like a fish out of water everywhere..at the same time i feel like the people i am with..does that make sense?
when my qingren(agapimenos) translates my poetry into mandarin..he says i am a ji dan..

right to explain..

jiao ...banana = yellow on the outside , white on the inside...
chinese who are very westernised and/or don't speak any chinese language...

ji dan....egg = white on the outside, yellow on the inside  ie sinophiles like us..

white but ravin' looneys on chinese culture..(well i am olive skinned actually lol)..

well i am..and yes like you Freaky it all started with the tai ji...well from dreams about it first..very wierd dreams..

now i must learn the language..i want to anyway..i fell in love with it.the flow of it it is truly magical..it will take me years i know...but wo xiang, wo xiang (thelo) and when wo xiang..this time i will get!!!!

how will i communicate with my mum in law eh?
i think you will be learning Marital arts there too lol!!!!
oh and i found out another thing too...
apparently my qingren says that  most young chinese gals don't like huzi  (bierd)..
so what do i go and do?
MAKE HIM GROW ONE!!!!!!!
he laughs cos he says i am using all my yi to keep the girls away....
well i have to do something lol..we are in different countries..
my ShiFu said to me to increase my Yi..so i am trying to practice that  on him!!...

oh and to be honest..the chinese huzi is really lovely..cos it's small and scraggy?
he wears chinese clothes now..well shirts at the moment that is.....

so it's everything with me..the language, food , dress phylosophy..i find a lot of similarities with my own culture..

china is like an egg..

first you have to crack it..once you do?
it is very soft and guey inside.....

bon appetite..

2006-8-30 05:34 PM

xilaren
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how lucky you are

QUOTE:

Originally posted by yanjiaren at 2006-8-30 17:34
i don't know Xilaren..but i feel although like a fish out of water everywhere..at the same time i feel like the people i am with..does that make sense?
when my qingren(agapimenos) translates my po ...

Thank you very much for your translations and your information.You help me a lot.
Listen ,you have given me an air of trust so I will confess you something.I am sure you will understand.

I have the same feelings about China as yours.In the past I had no interest to visit this country.Everything looked so strange and mysterious to me.
All these until one day I created a strong friendship with some chinese people The one of them I had never met ,we became friends through internet.
Since that time I have been in love with China.
I started learning chinese and this summer I have visited China.I mostly stayed in Beijing.

When I came back some days ago I found that I loved China more than before.

Sometimes I think, my God, do something not to love them so much because I suffer.My feelings are so strong that they make me suffer.

In the past I was so happy with my family ,at least I thought that I was happy ,and all of a sudden I lost my mind.
What is that ?I do not want to tell you more things now I will create a new thread so everybody can read it and comment.

I will also tell you something else.This time you have what I have ever dreamed in my life.
I am a greek who wants to live in London for some years and in China.You have all of them.Oh I envy you so much.

So lucky to find you here.I go to London every year..I was also there this summer .I stayed in Mile End area for two weeks.
Do you miss Greece?

2006-8-30 10:10 PM

yanjiaren
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aaah i must breath first....

i am a lost soul Xilaren..
i too love my family..
i have even lost my son...
well he is alive..but living with his father..
my qingren lives in Meiguo...and i am in pieces..cos we can't live apart like this forever..
i love my son but he is stable with his dad.he has a house..everything..all i have is nothing..save my love..
but shall i tell you something Xilaren?
don't be afraid of what you feel..or are..
that is why i say i live in wu ji..
i don't have a home..well except my home is where i can be me..love and be loved..
it's not in a country or place..

Chinese culture has something that draws me out from the inside..if you want to pm me with any thing please do..i want to feel like a sis...i know you might feel that oh you are getting into the chinese culture too much and betraying your own..never think this....

we are evolving every day....

and by God..xila and han have a lot in common..more than they could ever think...

remeber my feta filled dumplings....

i am such an odd ball..i also have very few people who understand me..

but i am also glad i found someone like me..or the saner part of me lol..
thanks for trusting me friend..

even if i know someone's weskness i would never use it against them..
i have had too many bad things done to me in my life..i pray for my enemies..or those that hurt me..i can't carry such burdens around in my heart..there is just too much loving to do..

ai and qi

your xilaren mad sis..sorry for rattling on like this..

if i am still in London when you come next i will have to cook for you!!!!!!
zhidao?

2006-8-30 10:27 PM

ivyfantasy (Ivy)
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QUOTE:

so funny....

i didn't like man with huzi either...
but i like artists with huzi...
they seem to give you the feeling of an artist at first sight...
good indeed....

2006-8-30 10:45 PM

xilaren
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QUOTE:

Originally posted by yanjiaren at 2006-8-30 22:27
i am a lost soul Xilaren..
i too love my family..
i have even lost my son...
well he is alive..but living with his father..
my qingren lives in Meiguo...and i am in pieces..cos we can't live ap ...

Thank you for your frankness.I am a blessed happy person in life with a strong torture.I have never talked about that to anybody.Not even my best greek friends.Only to myself cursing him.I do need someone to talk.Somebody who can understand me and help me because I have lost the strenght I used to have in life.
I am not ready to do it now and talk to you but I really need to..
Thank you very much for your willingness to help.I will e-mail you but not right now.Thank you so much.You can also e-mail me and tell me your story if you trust me .

2006-8-30 10:48 PM

ivyfantasy (Ivy)
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cheer up

cheep dear...
here is your another "home.".hehe...
and we are your "families"...
---IVY

2006-8-30 10:49 PM

xilaren
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what is huzi?

QUOTE:

Originally posted by ivyfantasy at 2006-8-30 22:45

so funny....

i didn't like man with huzi either...
but i like artists with huzi...
they seem to give you the feeling of an artist at first sight...
good indeed....

2006-8-30 10:52 PM

yanjiaren
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oh huzi..the word gives me goosebumps..

huzi = sgraggy little ieard that makes chinese men look like something out of a Confucian Treatise..
it makes them look scholarly like..

like they want to take you under their wing to 'teach you stuff'...
that's the huzi look...

the whiskers moustache and itsy bitsy beard.......and then get them all dressed up in han fu......

i don't want to say any more ..
this xila fireball will

yu bei fang POW!!!!

yeah please whenever you are ready talk to me..
i too carry a lot of pain..but trying to do something with it..
convert it into something..something better, stronger, bigger and

for the whole world to hope again...

oh that song is on again..

naner..i can't take it man..this song is mindblowing..and i have a version with electric guitar and all these qimen going....

hu haaaaaah!!!!

zuo ge hao han zi.............
re zhe re chang re.....
bi tai yang geng guang

oh man..i'm going dooolaly..

it took me two years to get the lyrics to this song..can you imagine..two years to get to learn it?

it will take me another few lifetimes to bring down heaven and get the strength of ten thousand men..

ai and qi

mad xilaren...
xie xie..xxxx

2006-8-30 11:30 PM

rosepanther
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complain and advice

I have read your threads many time since I met you in person.I have understood roughly what your problem is and on mentioning you in e-mail how much I wanted to help you ,you were absolutely negative saying that you will never talk to anybody because you do not want to get influence from anybody else except from yourself.Now I see that very willingly promise Yanjiaren to talk to her .
I will justify you although I am complaining.Maybe because she is a woman or because she is greek too.
Anyway I am so grateful to you for all your help so I am taking the initiative to tell you some words which may help you.Either you keep them or you throw them into the bin.

2006-8-30 11:39 PM

yanjiaren
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ouch i hope i haven't offended anyone..

kind sir....

please forgive us for our shortcomings..
i do not know the problems here..
so it would be out of curtesy for me to intervene..
but if any of you need a separate platform to talk on..
i can referee it..
i.e if you are both willing to come out of yourselves and talk..
i will make cookies and dumplings with ai and qi..
and be a good listener..
i talk too much..
i think Zhuge Liang would cringe in his grave with me..
but you know what..
there are always exeptions to the rules..
so i would answer him like that.
i like him Zhuge Liang that is..Jia Wu is like him..a man of few words..but a hell of a lot of substance..
if i can help ..please i am here..
ni de pengyou..

2006-8-30 11:47 PM

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rosepanther
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I will be short

As far as I know you are a very attractive woman mostly sociable and energetic.You lack something very important.You are not brave at all.You understand very well what I mean.Do not think about others all the time.There are limits in everything.Go ahead.Think about yourself .You will continue love your family members.They won't lose it.Do think about yourself just once.Why do we struggle for a better life ,working hard and trying?What for ?We need happiness.So if you remain stuck in your ideas you will never be happy.Follow my steps.I left China ,went to London ,went to Italy and found my soulmate here.Now I am happy.
While you ,remain stuck to your ideas.You will never be happy thinking this way.Love is the best gift from heaven.Follow your heart.You are a european lady.Stop thinking like that.we understand each other very well.

Move forward ,demand your happiness.If people love you they will understand.

2006-8-30 11:50 PM

#11

xilaren
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a misunderstanding

Oh you sound angry.I am so sorry.You did not understand well.I said that I need to talk to her .I did not say that I will.Maybe yes maybe no.The reason is the same.I do not want to be influenced by anybody.I want my decisions to be clearly mine.
If I do talk to her then I will do it exactly for the reasons you mentioned.I found to have so many common things with her.First she is a woman,second she is greek and third she loves china and the chinese language as much as I do.
I am not sure if I do it .I said I need to

2006-8-31 12:03 AM

#12

yanjiaren
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zhidao man...

ah i am referee here shi de?

my xilaren pengyou will i am sure read your words..

now you don't look like very hai xiu lol!!!

i like when i see the dragons wake me up!!

better go and lovemail my JiaWu..

zai jian..

2006-8-31 12:04 AM

#13

rosepanther
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I see the difference

QUOTE:

Originally posted by xilaren at 2006-8-31 00:03
Oh you sound angry.I am so sorry.You did not understand well.I said that I need to talk to her .I did not say that I will.Maybe yes maybe no.The reason is the same.I do not want to be influenced by ...

I see now.First I am a man second I am chinese third I love Italy not only China.he he

Have your talks here.I go to my cooking

2006-8-31 12:12 AM

#14

xilaren
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re

I will be a winner from this struggle on my own.I will never make hints about personal things here I am afraid.

2006-8-31 12:59 AM

#15

rosepanther
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fine

so you will follow your heart ?

2006-8-31 01:04 AM

#16

xilaren
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no

No I won't.I will follow the reason and the mind and deep thought.

2006-8-31 01:05 AM

#17

rosepanther
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re

So you will continue to be a loser.Then stay with your torture.I will find the way to talk to you one day.Talk to somebody.If you do not want to talk to me then talk to somebody else.
A woman like you deserves to be happy.You can be more brave and then you will be happy.
Only grandmothers are thinking like you.You live in Europe.You have travelled a lot.You must be open-minded.

2006-8-31 01:12 AM

#18

xilaren
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re

You have shaken me a lot.I did not expect that from a chinese .

2006-8-31 01:15 AM

#19

rosepanther
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re

Chinese are like all normal people.There are positive chinese and negative chinese.There are brave chinese and timid chinese.There are winners and losers.
I was born and brought up in China.Studied and worked in England.Then travelled to Italy.I love my country a lot but I also love the western culture.I earn a lot of money and I have found the woman of my life.

If I had stayed in China I would have a low salary ,got married and nothing more.
There are people who like this kind of life but I am too ambitious .I want to make my life better and be happy.
Up to now I have managed it.
I may also come to Greece and work .Follow me he he .......

2006-8-31 01:25 AM

#20

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