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» 诚征英文翻译十四行诗，悬赏翻译费500元-1000元
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Subject: 诚征英文翻译十四行诗，悬赏翻译费500元-1000元
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eastlion
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诚征英文翻译十四行诗，悬赏翻译费500元-1000元
手执吴戈欲将近年所写的十四行诗结集出版，并介绍到国外，翻译点津如有哪位网友能将拙诗中的任何一首译成英文，并符合商籁诗的韵律和格式，本人愿意支付500元--1000元人民币译酬，君子以信而立，决不食言。热忱欢迎各位网友妙笔生辉，大展雄才。
付酬标准如下：
一、500元译诗标准
1、基本忠实于原诗；
2.、必须是十四行诗；
3、每行诗歌可以是10-12个音节，但全诗必须一致，如第一行是10个音节，其它十三行也必须是10个音节，以此类推；
4、必须严格按照莎士比亚体十四行诗的韵律，隔行押韵，即ABAB、CDCD、EFEF、GG。
二、1000元译诗标准
1、基本忠实于原诗；
2.、必须是十四行诗；
3、每行诗歌可以是10-12个音节，但全诗必须一致，如第一行是10个音节，其它十三行也必须是10个音节，以此类推；
4、必须严格按照莎士比亚体十四行诗的韵律，隔行押韵，即ABAB、CDCD、EFEF、GG；
5、采用严格的十四行诗音步，如抑扬格、扬抑格、抑抑扬格、扬扬抑格。
只要达到以上标准，请告知邮编和地址，立即汇款，决不食言。
1、蹉 跎（十四行诗）
--观影片《赤壁》感怀
几度岁月消磨几番浪起浪落，
遥思公瑾当年赤壁铁马金戈；
三国鼎立之势将军运筹帷幄，
东风吹燃战火樯橹化为沉舸。
几度悲欢离合几番花开花落，
追忆小乔初嫁锦衣步出闺阁；
夫妻琴瑟相和留下千古传说，
而今斜阳田陌掩没天香国色。
几度泪眼婆娑几番潮起潮落，
当年万丈雄心惟剩一段春色；
风流人物淘尽留下天高江阔，
岁月蹉跎而去流水依然是客。
发如雪鬓斑驳心底事向谁说，
豪情壮志未果暂付瑶琴寄托。
后记：有人认为欧洲商籁诗是抒情诗歌，类似于中国的婉约诗词，适于表示花前月下，男欢女爱的题材。今天手执吴戈不自量力，尝试独辟蹊径，欲用这种诗体展示大江东去、金戈铁马的豪放诗风。
[
Last edited by eastlion at 2009-8-21 08:30 PM
]
2009-7-11 09:37 PM
#1
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jordan_c_fan
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--观片《赤壁》感怀 Ode To The Movie "Red Cliff"
几度岁月消磨几番浪起浪落， Twilight & moonlight grind no more,
Wave after wave wash toward shore.
遥思公瑾当年赤壁铁马金戈； Listen to the Gong Jin admiral roars,
With iron horses and golden swords.
三国鼎立之势将军运筹帷幄， When knights proved their bright.
Triple Kingdoms started to fight.
东风吹燃战火樯橹化为沉舸。 Blowing monsoon was fanning infernal.
Burning battleships sank into channels.
几度悲欢离合几番花开花落， Often tragedy survive hence revive,
Often flowers open to improvise.
追忆小乔初嫁锦衣步出闺阁； Dress up and walk the floor,
Stunning Bridge bride we adore!
夫妻琴瑟相和留下千古传说， When spouses sing comforting folklore,
Our millennium legend will restore.
而今斜阳田陌掩没天香国色。 Neither sunset nor farms,
Could conceal her charms.
几度泪眼婆娑几番潮起潮落， Many a tear come and dry,
Many a tide rise and die.
当年万丈雄心惟剩一段春色； When their ambition rose,
Spring will treasure most.
风流人物淘尽留下天高江阔， Sky go high, rivers grow wide
When lovers' romance expire.
岁月蹉跎而去流水依然是客。 We sadly await our time to die
But not until our watery guest arrive .
发如雪鬓斑驳心底事向谁说， Graying hair already shines,
But where to get their replies?
豪情壮志未果暂付瑶琴寄托。 Then music will temporary relay
On fruitless ambitions to go haywire.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Some improvements can be made but that will take up too much time. I also correct mistakes and other defects in the original poem.
[
Last edited by jordan_c_fan at 2009-7-12 09:39 AM
]
2009-7-12 08:05 AM
#2
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Zsummersun
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QUOTE:
Originally posted by
jordan_c_fan
at 2009-7-12 08:05
--观片《赤壁》感怀 Ode To The Movie "Red Cliff"
几度岁月消磨几番浪起浪落， Twilight & moonlight grind no more,
...
I don't know how to appreciate poems, but I think you are really awesome in translating it into English.
2009-7-12 09:04 AM
#3
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eastlion
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英文翻译尚可，但不符合商籁诗的韵律和格式
商籁诗的韵律是隔行押韵，商籁诗的格律是每行10个、11个或12个音节，必须是扬抑格、抑扬格、扬扬抑格或抑抑扬格。
2009-7-12 08:32 PM
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heroodle
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QUOTE:
Originally posted by
eastlion
at 2009-7-12 20:32
英文翻译尚可，但不符合商籁诗的韵律和格式
商籁诗的韵律是隔行押韵，商籁诗的格律是每行10个、11个或12个音节，必须是扬抑格、抑扬格、扬扬抑格或抑抑扬格。
诗词翻译本来就不可能完全等同翻译
在力求传达意美之后，才会考虑韵律和形式
不免与原诗在音美和形美上有出入
再说英文诗歌中并没有扬抑的格律
英汉也属两种差异较大的语言
2009-7-12 08:55 PM
#5
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eastlion
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关于“商籁诗”
十四行诗是欧洲的一种抒情诗体，汉语音译为“商籁诗”，“商”取自上古五音“宫、商、角、徵、羽”的第二音，“籁”取自天籁之音，两字合并而成，故名“商籁”。商籁诗语源于普罗旺斯语Sonet。原系中世纪民间流行并用于歌唱或吟诵的一种诗歌。
十四行诗，为意大利文sonetto，英文、法文sonnet的意译。欧洲一种格律严谨的抒情诗体。最初流行于意大利，彼特拉克的创作使其臻于完美，又称“彼特拉克体”，后传到欧洲各国。由两节四行诗和两节三行诗组成，每行11个音节，韵式为ABBA，ABBA，CDE，CDE或ABBA，ABBA，CDC，CDC。16世纪，经英国莎士比亚的发展，称为“莎士比亚体”或“伊丽莎白体”，由三节四行诗和两行对句组成，每行10个音节，韵式为ABAB，CDCD，EFEF，GG。
2009-7-12 10:28 PM
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eastlion
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To Heroodle
徐志摩说，“商籁体是西洋诗式中格律最谨严的，最适宜于表现深沉的盘旋的情绪，像是山风，像是海潮，它是圆浑的有回响的音声。在能手中它是一只完全的琴弦，它有最激昂的高音，也有最呜咽的幽声。”
个人认为，如果没有十四行诗严谨的韵律和格式，只能称为译作，不能称为译诗。
2009-7-12 10:36 PM
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eastlion
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2、夜 雨（十四行诗）
昨夜下了小雨窗外淅淅沥沥，
是谁洒下这么多的伤心泪水？
今晨海棠绽放玉珠点点滴滴，
是否爱人离开江南去了塞北？
我心爱的人儿从此天涯流浪，
只有离别才会这般叫人憔悴；
我心爱的人儿从此天各一方，
只有分手才会这般痛彻心扉！
既然有情何必如此匆忙别离，
刻骨铭心的痛令人黯然伤悲；
既然相爱为何醒来各自东西，
魂牵梦萦的心系在天水之湄。
掬一捧相思泪化作天边雨水，
采几枝海棠花牵挂凝成芳蕊。
2009-7-12 11:00 PM
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eastlion
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To Heroodle
扬抑格
如果一个音步中有两个音节，前者为重，后者为轻，则这种音步叫扬抑格音步，其专业术语是（trochee, trochaic.）。重读是“扬”，轻读是“抑”，一重一轻，故称扬抑格。与抑扬格恰好相反。
英语中也有一批其读音为一重一轻的单词，如Happy, many, holy, yonder, headlong, flaming, upper, grandeur, failing等。写扬抑格的诗，此类词正好合适。试举两句诗例：
Present │mirth has │present │laughter
Shakespeare
Shake your │chains to │earth like │dew
Shelley
[
Last edited by eastlion at 2009-7-13 01:40 AM
]
2009-7-13 01:38 AM
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jordan_c_fan
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reply to respond #10, eastlion
Cheater! Cheater!
Did I ask you to pay up?
No, I didn't.
You criticized Me simply to find excuses not to pay.
Your original purpose was to lure people into reading your poem(s). You thought no one will even dare to translate it.
If you don't know who I am, go and ask those people at the "News Talk" Section of China Daily. They will certainly tell you what your fate will be?
Everyone knows that it is extremely easy to write a poem but much more difficult to translate. Your type of poem are rubbish which I or many other people can write hundreds everyday. Your poem never rhyme. Your poem became trash while Mine is fast becoming a Masterpiece.
Fools! Fools!
海客談瀛洲， 煙濤微茫信難求。
越人語天姥， 雲霓明滅或可睹。
天姥連天向天橫， 勢拔五嶽掩赤城；
天臺四萬八千丈， 對此欲倒東南傾。
我欲因之夢吳越， 一夜飛渡鏡湖月。
湖月照我影， 送我至剡溪；
謝公宿處今尚在， 淥水蕩漾清猿啼。
腳著謝公屐， 身登青雲梯。
半壁見海日， 空中聞天雞。
千巖萬壑路不定， 迷花倚石忽已暝。
熊咆龍吟殷巖泉， 慄深林兮驚層巔。
雲青青兮欲雨， 水澹澹兮生煙。
列缺霹靂， 邱巒崩摧，
洞天石扇， 訇然中開；
青冥浩蕩不見底， 日月照耀金銀臺。
霓為衣兮風為馬， 雲之君兮紛紛而來下；
虎鼓瑟兮鸞回車。 仙之人兮列如麻。
忽魂悸以魄動， 怳驚起而長嗟。
惟覺時之枕席， 失向來之煙霞。
世間行樂亦如此， 古來萬事東流水。
別君去兮何時還？ 且放白鹿青崖間。
須行即騎訪名山， 安能摧眉折腰事權貴，
使我不得開心顏？ 李白
國初以來畫鞍馬， 神妙獨數江都王。
將軍得名三十載， 人間又見真乘黃。
曾貌先帝照夜白， 龍池十日飛霹靂，
內府殷紅瑪瑙盤， 婕妤傳詔才人索。
盤賜將軍拜舞歸， 輕紈細綺相追飛；
貴戚權門得筆跡， 始覺屏障生光輝。
昔日太宗拳毛騧， 近時郭家獅子花。
今之新圖有二馬， 復令識者久歎嗟，
此皆騎戰一敵萬， 縞素漠漠開風沙。
其餘七匹亦殊絕， 迥若寒空雜煙雪；
霜蹄蹴踏長楸間， 馬官廝養森成列。
可憐九馬爭神駿， 顧視清高氣深穩。
借問苦心愛者誰？ 後有韋諷前支盾。
憶昔巡幸新豐宮， 翠花拂天來向東；
騰驤磊落三萬匹， 皆與此圖筋骨同。
自從獻寶朝河宗， 無復射蛟江水中。
君不見， 金粟堆前松柏裡，
龍媒去盡鳥呼風。 杜甫
[
Last edited by jordan_c_fan at 2009-7-26 12:58 PM
]
2009-7-13 03:53 AM
#10
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jordan_c_fan
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reply to #4.
QUOTE:
Originally posted by
lovesick!!!
at 2009-7-12 14:28
惭愧，jordan_c_fan 译的诗里，我有好几个单词都不认识，有些词的用法看着也很眼生。
不过还是忍不住想小小声地问一句
Sky go high, rivers grow wide
为什么不用 Sky goes high 呢，是想表示 go high i ...
You definitely should be ashame of yourself. How can one locate and count the sky or skies? Then there are always possiblity that there are sky or skies some where else in this universe. What grammar to use are everyone's guess? There should not be rules on that and we should not care what other people said. Besides, as Prophet, I make the rules Myself like I make rules on other Chinese translation issues else where. Who one rshould estrict herself to rules or she will lose her creativities. While it only took me less then two hours to do this translation, it will took you more than a week to do the same if to match Mine. You people are so ignorant. No wonder your transaltions are so poor.
[
Last edited by jordan_c_fan at 2009-7-13 04:58 AM
]
2009-7-13 04:42 AM
#11
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heroodle
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QUOTE:
Originally posted by
eastlion
at 2009-7-13 01:38
扬抑格
如果一个音步中有两个音节，前者为重，后者为轻，则这种音步叫扬抑格音步，其专业术语是（trochee, trochaic.）。重读是“扬”，轻读是“抑”，一重一轻，故称扬抑格。与抑扬格恰好相反。
英语中 ...
谢谢eastlion 的解答，这些方面还需向你多多请教：）
[
Last edited by heroodle at 2009-7-13 11:58 AM
]
2009-7-13 11:57 AM
#12
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Zsummersun
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QUOTE:
Originally posted by
jordan_c_fan
at 2009-7-13 03:53
Cheater! Cheater!
Did I ask you to pay up?
No, I didn't.
You criticized Me simply to find excuses not to pay.
Your origi ...
The great work of a pioneer is going to turn ito trash, what a pity!
Though he has some mistakes in grammar
[
Last edited by Zsummersun at 2009-7-13 12:11 PM
]
2009-7-13 12:06 PM
#13
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smile_elle
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高手云集，敝人只有围观学习的份
2009-7-13 12:16 PM
#14
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eastlion
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3、苍 凉（十四行诗）
当你面对着一种必然的结局，
苍凉是一种不甘妥协的情怀；
当你经历了一场人生的悲剧，
苍凉是一种永不放弃的豪迈。
落英的缤纷难掩心扉的疲惫，
苍凉是恋人花前不变的情爱；
迷茫的薄雾伴着清迷的光辉，
苍凉是壮士月下孤独的徘徊。
笑看大江东去几多急流险滩，
江涛汹涌澎湃永葆英雄气概；
冷观高山巍峨充满峭壁悬岩，
道路千折百回痴心依然不改。
苍凉是一种无助交织着无奈，
苍凉是一声感叹叠加着感慨。
[
Last edited by eastlion at 2009-7-26 10:51 PM
]
2009-7-13 09:06 PM
#15
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jordan_c_fan
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Challenges or criticisms are not welcome!
2009-7-14 04:00 AM
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eeagle
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QUOTE:
Originally posted by
jordan_c_fan
at 2009-7-14 04:00
Challenges or criticisms are not welcome!
How about compliments?
Your translation, though not perfect, has had much higher value than the original Chinese "poem".
Eastlion, your criticism towards jordan_c_fan is not proper. Why? When you start to write your postings in English, you'll know why.
2009-7-15 04:50 PM
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icad
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how much is translation it, 500?
i believe need more money maybe 5000 or 50000
2009-7-15 11:53 PM
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eastlion
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4、前行（十四行诗）
我已开始懂得如何理解责任，
出发的起点留下稚嫩的脚印；
我将始终坚信这种别样人生，
无边的尽头有我矗立的身影。
一路上怀着曾经许下的诺言，
我将上下求索探明大道小径；
一路上抱着早已确立的信念，
我将坚定不移向着目标前行。
哪怕有时会有一些迷惘错失，
哪怕有时遇到一些岔道陷阱；
时光不应在叹息中悄然流逝，
人生不该有太多的命中注定。
拨开阴霾才能迎来雨后天晴，
扫除迷雾定会见到长空明净。
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Last edited by eastlion at 2009-7-25 02:00 PM
]
2009-7-16 08:31 AM
#19
练习翻译？遇到难题？快来翻吧
eastlion
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Registered 2008-6-25
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5、苦 旅（十四行诗）
告别了江南春闺遥望的惆怅，
告别了故乡柳荫绿色的浓郁；
毅然抛弃所有的疑虑和忧伤，
背负简单行囊踏上人生苦旅。
一路之上云水苍茫层峦叠嶂，
没有太白的轻舟放翁的毛驴；
一路之上天地悠悠大漠莽莽，
只有艰难的跋涉沉重的步履。
感受自然风光感受人间沧桑，
走过繁华街市走过荒凉废墟；
历经筋骨磨难历经意志较量，
有过痛苦离别有过快乐汇聚。
走出心灵创伤走过人生风雨，
走入清风荡漾走进阳光和煦。
2009-7-18 12:16 PM
#20
练习翻译？遇到难题？快来翻吧
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