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oceanslove
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诺贝尔文学奖作品Out of Africa （选译）--请你练笔（每天更新帖）

From the Ngong Hills you have a unique view, you see to the South the vast plains of the great game-country that stretches all the way to Kilimanjaro; to the East and North the park-like country of the foot-hills with the forest behind them, and the undulating land of the Kikuyu-Reserve, which extends to Mount Kenya a hundred miles away—a mosaic of little square maize-fields, banana-groves and grass-land, with here and there the blue smoke from a native village, a small cluster of peaked mole-casts.

这一段怎么翻译，这次我不把自己的拙作拿出，但请eveningstar，chel等高手来操刀翻译。

[
color=Red]我的博客 http://blog.sina.com.cn/oceanslove

[ Last edited by oceanslove at 2009-7-8 11:06 AM ]

2009-6-30 02:17 PM

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oceanslove
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已经7月8号更新帖子，欢迎高手提供译文

[ Last edited by oceanslove at 2009-7-8 11:07 AM ]

2009-6-30 02:19 PM

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hly_2010
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Hi:

Could you provide us with the source of the original text? Because it's difficult to tell whether or not the original text is written in genuine, which sometimes will affect our judgement on your translation.

2009-6-30 07:46 PM

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oceanslove
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out of Africa
选自《走出非洲》

2009-6-30 09:23 PM

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laoxianggg
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没有仔细看，但觉得已经很不错了。几个单词意思翻译错了：
country
glider
reef

2009-6-30 09:40 PM

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oceanslove
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结案

[ Last edited by oceanslove at 2009-7-8 11:07 AM ]

2009-7-1 12:59 PM

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oceanslove
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欢迎继续“抄茬”！！！！！

2009-7-1 01:01 PM

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oceanslove
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结案

[ Last edited by oceanslove at 2009-7-8 11:08 AM ]

2009-7-1 01:03 PM

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laoxianggg
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1。glider 改了就好。
2。country 你确实是误译成了国家：“东部山区高出周边国家2000英尺”
3。reef 当然不能翻译为暗礁，这里隐喻山尖，不是阻碍。山尖在云海里是不是像海洋里的礁石？

总的来说翻译得很好。

QUOTE:

Originally posted by oceanslove at 2009-7-1 12:59

说明几点

第一个感谢，glider的确在翻译时候我当作了slide不是滑梯，我已经更过滑翔机。

第二要说的，country此处不是农村，不是国家，而是地区，我没有误译此处。包括这本小说里的great game country也不 ...

2009-7-1 02:02 PM

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oceanslove
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结案

[ Last edited by oceanslove at 2009-7-8 11:08 AM ]

2009-7-1 02:31 PM

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oceanslove
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我还有其他的翻译难点，有的是理解部分的，有的是表达部分的，比如以下自然段
From the Ngong Hills you have a unique view, you see to the South the vast plains of the great game-country that stretches all the way to Kilimanjaro; to the East and North the park-like country of the foot-hills with the forest behind them, and the undulating land of the Kikuyu-Reserve, which extends to Mount Kenya a hundred miles away—a mosaic of little square maize-fields, banana-groves and grass-land, with here and there the blue smoke from a native village, a small cluster of peaked mole-casts.

【试译】：
在恩恭山上观景，别有一番风光。放眼南望，广袤的狩猎区平原，绵延直达乞力马扎罗山；再看东面和北面的山麓丘陵森林葱郁，像是一座大公园；基库尤保护区地势好地起伏，方圆一百多英里，远至肯尼亚山-------看这一方方玉米地，一座座香蕉园，还有牧场草地，原始村落，袅袅炊烟，××××，一幅镶嵌图画自然天成。

【请问】：
怎么理解a small clusster of peaked mole-casts.

[ Last edited by oceanslove at 2009-7-1 02:46 PM ]

2009-7-1 02:35 PM

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smile_elle (elle)
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你的博客很不错^_^

2009-7-1 07:49 PM

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hly_2010
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my try

1.immovable 像是天幕下四个深蓝海浪，却一动也不动。
我认为这里是先有darker blue waves，然后说immovable，表示和wave的不同。
2.it is felt as just the resistance of the air, as the Earth throws herself forward into space.
.你彷佛能感受到空气的阻力，感觉到地球的自转
这句话我认为是和down at the coasts对比
前者(down..)，浪漫，让人浮想联翩，
后者(up here)，作者在说只是(just)一个物理现象，没什么神秘。

[ Last edited by hly_2010 at 2009-7-1 09:13 PM ]

2009-7-1 09:09 PM

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oceanslove
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QUOTE:

Originally posted by smile_elle at 2009-7-1 19:49
你的博客很不错^_^

Dank!

2009-7-1 10:08 PM

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oceanslove
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QUOTE:

Originally posted by smile_elle at 2009-7-1 19:49
你的博客很不错^_^

谢谢啦
最近没时间更新，忙着看这本走出非洲

2009-7-1 10:35 PM

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oceanslove
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恕不接受意见

结案

[ Last edited by oceanslove at 2009-7-8 11:08 AM ]

2009-7-1 10:48 PM

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oceanslove
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解决问题！！

大家说收看，你是怎么理解a small clusster of peaked mole-casts.这句的翻译的

2009-7-1 10:51 PM

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hly_2010
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another 2 cents

四座神圣的山峰犹如倚天的怒海蓝涛，不可撼动

下面是我的推理过程

(1)我对这句话产生的理解是：山峰+犹如+(...定语)+怒海+蓝涛，(一样/一般?)不可撼动

对于蓝涛和不可撼动的搭配感觉不太对劲。
否则，楼主认为”山峰“是和“不可撼动”搭配

(2)可是原文是用immovable 修饰waves并非山峰

(3)所以，因为撼动和波涛搭配在一起（我认为）不适合，因此

(4)我认为immovable不是“撼动”的意思，因为它修饰的是'wave‘而不是"山峰”，所以它也许是表示”一动不动“的意思或者”固定”的意思

另外”怒海“似乎不属于原文内容范围，属于多译了，但是“怒海”在中文中表达出了感情色彩，这会影响到原文的感情色彩

[ Last edited by hly_2010 at 2009-7-1 11:19 PM ]

2009-7-1 11:09 PM

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hly_2010
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更正

我查了一下immovable mountain，immovable 的确是“不可撼动”的意思

四座神圣的山峰犹如（倚天的）不可撼动的怒海蓝涛

这样我认为感觉更好，不过这个时候不知道定语”倚天的“应该怎么办

[ Last edited by hly_2010 at 2009-7-1 11:37 PM ]

2009-7-1 11:36 PM

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oceanslove
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多谢hly的意见

[ Last edited by oceanslove at 2009-7-8 11:09 AM ]

2009-7-2 12:03 AM

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