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garylv
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Women and Cats

This is an old essay of mine, finished in 2004 when I was in Chengdu, as a student in an English class.

Women and Cats

by Gary LÜ

Women and cats are similar creatures. Many years ago when I was young, I heard of a song titled “women are like cats”, and I deemed it as nonsense; as time went by, I began to appreciate the subtle philosophy contained in this statement.

To begin with, women and cats are both noble and of high dignity. Either a girl or a lady seldom behaves in a rude manner. Maybe for fear of making the ladies lose dignity, men are always reluctant to quarrel with them. When a man and a woman fall in love with each other, it is always the man who expresses the affection first. In the west, men should also take the posture of touching one knee to the ground, which may be a manifestation of the special dignity of women. As for cats, they are born with an air of the aristocrat. They can not bear with the inferior food or habitation. Unlike dogs, they would rather leave their owners who beat or abuse them and earn themselves bad reputation of disloyalty than lose their noble dignity to maintain an existence of degradation.

Moreover, women and cats are both graceful, tender, and pretty. The T-stage of fashion dress show can be regarded as the best place to show the elegance of ladies. The slender models walk in a brisk style that is called "cat walk" since cats walk in a same manner. This kind of walking is simply no different from dancing at all! Besides the slim figure of cats, their noses and mouths are small and exquisite; their eyes are shining and big – all these features can not be more consistent with the criterion of beauty in the eyes of girls.

Laziness is the third common nature of women and cats. After having a delicious meal, especially in a sunny, warm afternoon, there is nothing for a cat to do but sleep or play; the ancient vocation of catching mice now only exists in people’s memories. Similarly, the legendary virtue of hard working of Chinese women is now on the edge of extinction. The virtues such as diligence and hard working have transferred from wives to husbands. In many modern families, it is the husbands who cook and wash the dishes at home after a day’s work outside. What the delicate wife needs to do is watching TV, nestling in the soft couch with a cat in her arms. The word “housewife” is apparently out-of-date; it can only be used to describe the generations before, and including, our parents.

In addition, cats are as neat and clean as women. Women never neglect to make the face up and dress up before leaving home. A woman with slovenly, messy appearance is unimaginable. Cats, just like women, always make themselves brilliant carefully with their tongues; every morning after getting up, they never forget washing the face; every time they excrete feces and urine, they even bury the dirt in the ground on their own initiative. Cats are, actually, tiny little women in fur coats!

I almost forget to mention the last similarity of these two creatures: cats look like tigers because they are relatives, and so do some women. This kind of woman is usually called “female tiger” in China for the aggressive character. It is said that Socrates, the renowned Greek philosopher, had a wife of this style. Socrates said, “If you get a good wife, you will become very happy; if you get a bad one, you will become a philosopher.” These words should be a great comfort to those poor men who happen to marry their tiger-style wives.

I believe you cannot but agree me now, though there must be other evidences beyond me. For a girl who dreams to become a fair lady, it is helpful to raise a cat and try to make friends with her. For a boy who wants to know more about girls, it is also highly recommended to keep a pet kitten and observe her every day: I bet he will learn a lot from her.

October 21, 2004
Chengdu

[ Last edited by garylv at 2009-1-7 09:20 PM ]

2008-12-1 11:14 PM