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amethyst2009
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ichiban, i personally speaking don't agree with ur girl completely. concerning the responsibilities and other household trivialities. the truth is that the situation depends. if the two persons are determined to get married and the male are very capable in wealth, so it is no problem for him to pay for anything. but obviously ur situation is not like this, u need to share many things including ur difficulties. u should help each other. if she really loves u i think she of course will try hard together with u and do everything possible to help u instead of just standing by and playing no part. it is not real life and ridiculous and if she does so i doubt her love is ture or not. the truly beloved couple should share anything together do u agree? secondly, as to the bill account charge, i think it isn't a big problem. in china now after people get married, it is really true that the wife will take charge of some part of family account. maybe cause woman is usually more caruful than man. but it also depends. cause in some families, husband can do better than wife on this matter. so how to do this well, the two persons should consult with each other patiently. anyway cherish what u have is very important. wish u happyness.

2009-3-15 05:09 PM

#61

thunderbird
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QUOTE:

Originally posted by jiefang at 2009-3-15 10:45

Yes,so more possibles between couples.

What's you understand about ture love like?

"True" love?

It is a subjective experience

I believe

No two "true" loves are the same

But luckily we are able to communicate and share our feelings using such primitive tools like words, gestures, speeches, pictures, etc...

Do we understand what true love is?

We hope we do

Maybe one day when we can communicate at a higher level?!

We would know more

But for now

I believe our subjective feelings are good enough

As long as we don't fall for those everlasting BS stories

We are fine with what we got!

2009-3-16 04:30 AM

#62

chrisxu2009
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ay!

i learned a lot ,love is serious
marriage is the tomb of love
true love doesnot exist
money is the foundation of most relationship
but pls keep your hope
hope is the most beautiful thing ever ,which help people survive

2009-3-16 08:21 AM

#63

jiefang
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QUOTE:

Originally posted by thunderbird at 2009-3-16 04:30

"True" love?

It is a subjective experience

I believe

No two "true" loves are the same

But luckily we are able to communicate and share our feelings using such pr ...

So deep and complicated problem.

No special standard about true love.

If you feel well it's ok.

You said right.

As long as we don't fall for those everlasting BS stories

We are fine with what we got!

2009-3-16 08:36 AM

#64

urbancat
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time will tall u, what u need to do. take it easy.

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2009-3-16 08:54 AM

#65

eric_888888
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ichiban , although there might be some big difference between the westerm and eastern culture, but the instinct of the culture is the same, man and woman make up a family, everyone should contribute their endevour on the family; it's a throughly wrong saying that a man should support a family by himself, and i mean the idea from your girlfriend are totally wrong, and she couldn't acts behalf as chinese, so you'd better have a serious talk with her.

2009-3-16 06:36 PM

#67

uokiokok (akaCaring, WC Friend.......)
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QUOTE:

Originally posted by fatdragon at 2009-3-13 13:18

I generally dissagree with these other posters.

Talking from experience of being a Brit happily married to a Chinese girl......

Marriage is about sharing and compromise. It is not about ...

that fatty dragoon surely NOT OK

as old& divorced many times

2009-3-19 09:40 AM

#70

1818huo
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i think men is humen being ,too , the family belongs to the couple.why do men must support all? we have dignities,i obsolutey oppose opinion of your wife .

2009-3-21 12:38 AM

#71

1818huo
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i think men is humen being ,too , the family belongs to the couple.why do men must support all? we have dignities,i obsolutey oppose opinion of your wife .

2009-3-21 12:38 AM

#72

FeiLong
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Of course many Chinese woman will follow this train of thought, as it was more or less dictated by their economic situation in the past. But on the other hand, any relationship between two different cultures must accept compromise.
I am a little old fashion, I believe that the guy should be the main person when it comes to generating income for the relationship, and that the woman should contribute mostly with maintaining the house in harmony. Now that does not mean that she will get every kuai I generate. I am after all a business men and have learned how to apply my money in regards to investments and such. We basically worked out a budget, calculating how much money is required to run the household each month, and that is given to her then to run the house hold. She also gets access to the fun account, this is budgeted money for entertainment and such. The rest of the money is managed by me, invested or saved as I feel is best based on the options available on the market.
My Girl has no problem with this arrangement, as she trust my judgment and skill with handling large sums of money.
Handling money is not a skill that you obtain easily, especial if we are talking about larger sums, so simply handing over your cash to anybody that has no investment experience would be foolish.
As to being responsible to purchase the apartment/house/car and such, that is really a choice of the individual couple and their individual means. I personally have no problem buying the apartment/house/car as I know that my financial means are much greater then hers. I can supply the financial security for the family, but I expect that she provides the harmonies security.

2009-3-27 07:49 AM

#73

comeisgone
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a nice conversation

you should talk with her. for you, do you will be happy if you do all the money parts? she is an international student, she must know something about the world, then try to do in Rome's way when you are in Rome.

now she lives in UK, she should know the UK's culture.

2009-3-31 03:08 PM

#74

thunderbird
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QUOTE:

Originally posted by ichiban at 2009-3-13 03:56
Hi there,

I'm a British Black guy and I've been dating my Chinese girlfriend for over a year now.
She is a international student. She moved in with me with 2 months of knowing each other.
Sh ...

There are three common issues in most marriages

Sexual issues

Money issues

And in-laws issues

Nice topics for a life-time discussion!

2009-4-4 03:56 AM

#75

alfaable
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Reply #1 ichiban's post

You should communicate with your GF very well. The regular is defined by man!

2009-4-6 03:07 PM

#76

gaoli61
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QUOTE:

in ancient times, it happens like that. man is the head of a family, he earn every piece for the family. that's because women had very low social status, no place for them to work, to give their voice, they should stay at home raising children and taking care of every housework .
but nowdays famale and male get equal social status, women are coming out door to work. they can support the family too, so i think women should shoulder some financial responsiblities as well as men should share some housework.

and as you know a lot of youth sharing to buy a house and then get married. it happens like this with me and my boyfriend, we are trying to buy a house now.

and i think: women want equality everywhere, why when it comes to financialize a family , they think it's man's business, why they put themselves in a inequality position themselves when they claiming equality?

2009-4-13 11:40 AM

#77

guiyangbill (guiyangbill)
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Whoaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Fatdragon is right on it.........I am an American male who has worked in China for 21 years. I have met many, many, MANY Chinese women. I have had wonderful relationships with some. WE talked in depth about staying together, but I NEVER got into what you did. What I ran into had to do more with the woman NOT wanting to leave China......and wanting to know if I would stay. I have remained single, but would
NOT hesitate to marry given the right circumstances...........Try talking to your gf to see if you can work out the differences you have encountered IF you cannot, it may be time for both of you to move on.........You do NOT want to marry under the current circumstances.

2009-4-13 01:59 PM

#78

canada_man
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Read my post.

Be extremely careful in your decisions. Read my Post:

http://bbs.chinadaily.com.cn/vie ... &extra=page%3D1

2009-4-15 03:51 PM

#79

山西人在广州
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my opinions

I am also a chinese student,i think that you gf's thought have out of time .you know as a international student,she should not hold the idea of relying on husband,she ought to be in shame.in my opinion,what's a couple,it's two people who take responsibilities together.you'd better have take with her if you want to have a good future with her or you two can't ....because of the differents in culture.

2009-4-15 11:23 PM

#80

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