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Subject: No ring on my wedding
 
sherry52033
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No ring on my wedding

Each girl dreams to be the most beautiful bride that day. Dreams the moment groom wears the ring for her personally. But nothing happened in my wedding. My husband didn't buy me a ring. I felt very disappointed. I don’t know why. And I didn’t ask him why, he never gave an explanation.
I always ask myself if he loves me. I was encompassed with this question for two years. I am not that kind of girl who needs an expensive diamond ring. Just a small cheaper ring he can afford is enough, but nothing. Many friends ask me why you don’t wear your wedding ring, i really don’t know how to give an answer. If I tell them the truth, I am afraid they will ask why.
Sometimes, I think it is all because of my vanity. Not every girl has a ring when she got married. Maybe ring is not that necessary for marriage. We can also live happily without a ring. But, I can’t cheat myself, I really sad I don’t have a wedding ring………
2008-12-29 01:29 PM#1
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sherry52033
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Do you have a ring when you get married?

Do you have a ring when you get married?
2008-12-29 01:40 PM#2
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sherry52033
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say something

Please say something, i am waiting here! Thanks!
2008-12-29 04:15 PM#3
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smallfoxaa
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I also do not understand that how come your husband did not buy the wedding ring for you,
wait....the fist time for the ring showing up is when the man proposes to a woman,.i think . bec the TV series
always act like that, doesn't it???
i confused that when you said you did not get the  ring on your wedding date ?

but if it already gong like that, we can not track down why the ring did not appear at the very first time.

Exactly,the ring is very crucial to any woman if she is willing to marry to that guy, which  means
so much to her,
anyway,why your husband do not see it,and if the problem is haunting you everyday, why do not you just speak out ,of course you have to pay attention to your  tone, using the joking tone, i guess~

as a couple, you guys should confess and fix the problem .

good luck!
2008-12-29 04:25 PM#4
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melon1008
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Tell your husband.



QUOTE:
Originally posted by sherry52033 at 2008-12-29 16:15
Please say something, i am waiting here! Thanks!
Sherry, I think you should tell your husband: The marriage ring is meaningful to you. You don't care about the price it costs, but you do care about its value---it is a symbol of marriage.
Tell your husband your true feeling. Communication will solve the problem. If you don't tell him your true thoughts, maybe this small thing will be a big one after several years.
2008-12-29 04:29 PM#5
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magneone
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You will need to ask for something you can hold onto for sentimental value. There is no way around it.
Do not blame your husband: he probably just doesn't know.

Ladies all need things to reflect upon their security with their marriage. You should have the courage to ask for what you want. It shows that you are reaching out and wanting to be needed too.

Anyway, the man will learn through these experiences. You have to go through this in life.
2008-12-29 05:32 PM#6
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sherry52033
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How to explain?



QUOTE:
Originally posted by smallfoxaa at 2008-12-29 16:25
I also do not understand that how come your husband did not buy the wedding ring for you,
wait....the fist time for the ring showing up is when the man proposes to a woman,.i think . bec the TV se ...
It is very difficult to explain why the ring didn't come out when he asked for marriage. Exactly speaking, he didn't ask for my hand. I told him i was pregnant, then we deceided to get married. No ring came out. I thought he will give me a surprise on the wedding. Yes,indeed a surprise, surprise with disappointment not excitement.
2008-12-30 09:03 AM#7
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sherry52033
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QUOTE:
Originally posted by melon1008 at 2008-12-29 16:29

Sherry, I think you should tell your husband: The marriage ring is meaningful to you. You don't care about the price it costs, but you do care about its value---it is a symbol of marriage.
Tell  ...
Thank you Melon.

I do drop him a hint for several times. When we go shopping together, i always wandering around the counter for valuables.  I even ask him if the ring is beautiful. He gives some comments but never explain why he didn't buy me a ring.
2008-12-30 09:13 AM#8
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sherry52033
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QUOTE:
Originally posted by magneone at 2008-12-29 17:32
You will need to ask for something you can hold onto for sentimental value. There is no way around it.
Do not blame your husband: he probably just doesn't know.

Ladies all need things to refle ...
Thanks a lot for your caring, Magneone.

But how he doesn't know this? Both of us belong to the generation after 80's . There always rings show up on our friends' wedding, i am sure he knows it very well. I won't blame him, but i doubt if there is love between us. Exactly speaking, i doubt if he loves me or not. I can't live with somebody without love even if we have a two-years-old baby now. I can't bear that. Frankly speaking,I am not happy after our wedding.
2008-12-30 09:29 AM#9
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nancybeijing
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I want to know that why don't you tell you your husband about your thinkings? if you don't tell him ,he might be never know it !
2008-12-30 01:32 PM#10
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carrywong
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i do need a wedding ring when i am married, that is a symbol of marriage, no matter how it cheaper or expensive.

suggest you to ask your husband, i believe he could give you an satisfied answer and explianation.

Good Luck to you
2008-12-30 02:45 PM#11
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melon1008
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QUOTE:
Originally posted by sherry52033 at 2008-12-30 09:13


Thank you Melon.

I do drop him a hint for several times. When we go shopping together, i always wandering around the counter for valuables.  I even ask him if the ring is beautiful. He give ...
Hint is not enough. Maybe you should talk directly with him. You can tell him you don't care about the actual valve of the ring, but you do care about the meaning and the symbolized meaning of ring.
2008-12-30 03:00 PM#12
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jessicayh
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suggestions

[b]No ring in the wedding? No complaination? You keep silent? I just cannot imagine it. Frankly speaking, I doubt your husband's love to you. Maybe he married you just because you are pregant and as a man, he need to take the responsibility. I don't wanna to hurt you but I just want you to know my instinct and I think that if he loves you, you can feel it, right? I think you are a smart girl. Why don't you talk with your husband? Communication between wife and husband is so important. If you want to say something just say it. Do you want let the ring problem bother you in the rest of your life? Ask for a reason for the ring and your happiness right now.
2008-12-30 03:31 PM#13
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sherry52033
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QUOTE:
Originally posted by nancybeijing at 2008-12-30 13:32
I want to know that why don't you tell you your husband about your thinkings? if you don't tell him ,he might be never know it !
It is very difficult to ask him why. I am afraid if i tell him my feelings, we will have gaps, and maybe it will cause the end of our marriage.
2008-12-30 03:34 PM#14
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sherry52033
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QUOTE:
Originally posted by carrywong at 2008-12-30 14:45
i do need a wedding ring when i am married, that is a symbol of marriage, no matter how it cheaper or expensive.

suggest you to ask your husband, i believe he could give you an satisfied answer ...
Thanks, i will try!
2008-12-30 03:36 PM#15
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sherry52033
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QUOTE:
Originally posted by melon1008 at 2008-12-30 15:00

Hint is not enough. Maybe you should talk directly with him. You can tell him you don't care about the actual valve of the ring, but you do care about the meaning and the symbolized meaning of ri ...
But if i tell him i need a ring for our marriage. Then he will buy me a ring as i asked, don't you think it is meaningless? That is just a ring, a ring means nothing, just becasue i ask for it!
2008-12-30 03:43 PM#16
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melon1008
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QUOTE:
Originally posted by sherry52033 at 2008-12-30 15:43


But if i tell him i need a ring for our marriage. Then he will buy me a ring as i asked, don't you think it is meaningless? That is just a ring, a ring means nothing, just becasue i ask for it!
Maybe, maybe not. It depands on whatever you and your husband think of it----the ring.
I really can't believe you have no ring when you got married. As I know since I was a child, I know the ring will be a symbol of marriage. It not only symbolizes the responsiblity, but also symbolizes the "circle"," whole" family-----you are held by him, and he is held by you. If you think you ask for a ring, it will bring troubles or misunderstanding of each other, then you'd better forget the ring issue.


[ Last edited by melon1008 at 2008-12-30 04:12 PM ]
2008-12-30 03:58 PM#17
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sherry52033
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QUOTE:
Originally posted by jessicayh at 2008-12-30 15:31
No ring in the wedding? No complaination? You keep silent? I just cannot imagine it. Frankly speaking, I doubt your husband's love to you. Maybe he married you just because you are pregant and a ...
Maybe it is because of my self-respect. i kept silent, and  never complain. But it bothered me a lot. Sometimes,i think i incline towards melancholia. I need to talk to others about this thing, that is why i came here.

Thanks a lot for your kind suggestion. In fact, ring is not that important to me now. I will find a proper time to talk to my husband. Hope he will give me a reasonable reason.
2008-12-30 04:00 PM#18
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sherry52033
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QUOTE:
Originally posted by melon1008 at 2008-12-30 15:58

Maybe, maybe not. It depands on whatever you and your husband think of it----the ring.
I really can't believe you have no ring when you got married. As I know since I was a child, I know the rin ...
I hope i can forget the ring as time goes by. It is very hard, you know. Ring comes out everywhere at any time. I feel sad when some friends show me their wedding ring. It really hurts me. I can't imagine there is no ring on my wedding until today. I hope it is only a nightmare. But it is the truth i have nothing on my ring finger.
2008-12-30 04:08 PM#19
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sherry52033
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QUOTE:
Originally posted by melon1008 at 2008-12-30 15:58

Maybe, maybe not. It depands on whatever you and your husband think of it----the ring.
I really can't believe you have no ring when you got married. As I know since I was a child, I know the rin ...
Melon, thanks for your support all the time!

I hope i can forget the ring as time goes by. But, it is very hard, you know. Ring comes out everywhere at any time. I feel sad when some friends show me their wedding ring. It really hurts me a lot. I can't even imagine there was no ring on my wedding until day. I hope it is just a nightmare, God is playing a joke on me. But it is the truth i have nothing on my ring finger.
2008-12-30 04:17 PM#20
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