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[Family] CAN CHINESE WOMEN SHAKE OFF THE ¨LEFTOVER¨ (Shengnu) LABEL?   [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2013-8-29 22:21:43 |Display all floors
This post was edited by messi30 at 2013-8-29 22:26



It´s acruelty? It´s a shame? It´s a contempt? It´s the culture?



Seems for some people ( or a lot of people) the only women who deserve respect, admiration and love are the single girls not older than 27, the mothers, thegrandmothers and sometimes  the ones whoare successful women.



This it´s not a new problem in China. I´ve read and I´ve heard for long time a lot ofstories about the single women in their 30s and the life full of struggles theyhave to live in a society where the prejudice is like a big sword stabbed intheir hearts just for being singles and, I am not exagerating when I express my thoughts.


Just reading another thread about this topic I found the indifference of some people who prefer to divert the topic to other cultures or countries adding nonsenses and fake stories that happens in there and trying to minimize a serious problemin Chinese single women.



For the people who have the opportunity to live in this country, (Chinese and nonChinese) we know well what we are talking about and we can not be indifferentfor what happens around us. Everybody knows somebody who are in this sadsituation, some prefer to point it out, some prefer to keep silence, someprefer to work it out to find ANYONE to solve that ¨problem¨ and some othersprefer to fall in the famous gossips but no one ( or almost nobody) express asincere wish of support on them.


Talking with some friends about this problem we tried to figure out the causes of beinga ¨shengnu¨  in China and they started to number it.


-              Too picky at the time to choose alove partner in her early years.

-              Not to be physically attractive orhaving low background

-              To have parents too greedy intheir requests to the prospective groom

-              Living away from home by herselfwithout any good parental  support

-              Being too shy and lack of lifeexperience that make her have a life full of doubts.

-              Isolate herself from a socialcircle due to long hours working or studies.

-              Due to a social prejudices that agroom should provide the house before to married and failed to find him.


The list could be more longer but for me it make senses all their points, there are many reasons to reach that sad situation but does somebody worry to think how thesewomen feel? As I know most Chinese people are not open minded to talk personal issues with others. In another hand there is not a proper support from government agencies about this problem.


I was reading an article where a young girl named Wu a Tsinghua University scholarsaid:

I blame thegovernment for not trying hard enough to shore up women's rights by implementingthe constitution.


"Article 33 says every single citizen of the People's Republic of China should betreated equally," Wu points out. "And, according to Article 48 on women, women should enjoy equal rights in the economy, in politics, in everything."


"Andyet, China is still rule of man, by man."


Honestly I see there is a long way to walk to solve this issue and it´s in all the citizens to work on it.


We should stop the blames and put the hands on it.


I´ve read the sweet and deep sentiments of love for a mother. Everybody see in our mothers a good example of life and we give our pure love and respect but didsomebody think if some of many mothers we see outside in our daily life had ahard life in her early years and suffered the leftover label from the society?I guess not. Most people just value the people for what they see in the presentbut they don´t realize and they don´t know the wounds many of these motherscarry in their minds and hearts.

Instead to receive understanding and support many of these women live in silence theirmisfortune  without a sincere and open minded society where everybody can live with respect for what they are and notfor the nonsenses marital status.


So, how to build a harmonious society with the ¨shengnu¨?


I have to put a remark here. A person who is affected for a psychological problem is notable to find a solution by itself, especially if the person is carrying a hard pressure.


China is a country full of traditions and remarkable culture but also there are shortcomings to correct.


To correct a problem first, people has to admit that there is a problem.


Iif people who wants a better society should to be more sensible for others. how? probablyavoiding the pointing on the shengnu as they are rare creatures and stoppingthe stupid gossips that can kill socially a person very easily.





Denial, according the psychoanalysts, is one of the most primary mechanisms of defense. It consists in the attitude of denying or minimizing obvious facts of reality with which the individual can´t  cope or whose irresponsibility is unable to meet.

And I agree.

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Post time 2013-8-30 04:51:04 |Display all floors
First of all, most Chinese men have to get over the mysoginistic attitude that women over 30 are "old" and "undesirable".  That is the crux of the problem common in other east Asian nations as well.

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Post time 2013-8-30 15:18:36 |Display all floors
The tradition is women are supposed to get married before 30, otherwise it would the very hard.
What can we do to turn that around?
Who can change Chinese men's attitude of not marriying a woman over 30?
Maybe we should eleminate the term and make it a law not to call them "Shengnv"?
Life is what you make of it

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Post time 2013-8-30 15:23:56 |Display all floors
msrong Post time: 2013-8-30 04:51
First of all, most Chinese men have to get over the mysoginistic attitude that women over 30 are "ol ...

There are plenty of western men who see women over thirty as young, sexy and great company to be with. In the west it is (for me) the personality

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Post time 2013-8-30 15:25:41 |Display all floors
DSseeing Post time: 2013-8-30 15:18
The tradition is women are supposed to get married before 30, otherwise it would the very hard.
Wha ...

It is happening, now. Just very difficult to see through the cultural noise.

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Post time 2013-8-30 15:36:03 |Display all floors
Not to mention men's attitude or any other pressure from the society. It is the nature that human being can not escape. For a woman, the golden time to born a baby is around 25 to 30, maybe 35. After this period, body funcation is down day after day. In terms of body funcation, i guess both men and women have to face the same problem. one of my friends married at 37, her husband was 47 that year, so far, they couldn't have a baby.

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Post time 2013-8-30 15:39:58 |Display all floors
"Do what Sarah says, because you shall have descendants through Isaac." I don't know if this is from the bible?

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