Views: 14063|Replies: 17

What does a mother do when her teenaged daughter is spinning out of control? [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 2

Post time 2012-10-10 15:26:27 |Display all floors
This post was edited by lookcherry at 2012-10-10 15:27

My elder sister can’t keep complaining about her daughter to me recently. My sister told me that she found that her daughter has transformed from a sweet, ribbon-wearing, kiss-giving, doll-loving little girl to a young woman who is angry, secretive and often worse.

She began to feel terrified that her daughter’s adolescent years are coming.

“In the blink of an eye, everything changed between the two of us. Out went the easy chats, holding hands on walks and keeping her secrets. In came slammed doors, exasperated sighs, sullen moods and rude comments. These changes are mystifying and devastating to me”. She told me.

It seems that my sister is having tough time handling conflict and anger with her daughter; she regards her daughter’s challenging behavior as particularly unwelcome.

I suggest that the best way to handle this problem for her is to sit down with her daughter at a neutral time – a time when neither of them is angry – and talk about the rules of the house.

I also suggest that she can try to find acceptable places to compromise so her daughter feels like she has a voice too, but never compromise on the things that are most important like those that can affect her safety or good moral judgment.

Because I haven’t got married, I am not good at dealing with teenagers. I am not sure if my advice is good or not; or if it can be helpful for her or just mislead her.

I am looking forward to your ideas which could help my elder sister deal with her adolescent girl. I would really appreciate it if you can help my sister with your ideas or opinion.


Use magic tools Report

Rank: 8Rank: 8

August's Best Writer 2012

Post time 2012-10-10 15:33:30 |Display all floors
I belong to the lucky ones.Never had I had such kind of behaviour from my children
I really    love China,半个 中国 人

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2012-10-10 15:42:36 |Display all floors
just normal teenager-behaviour.........it goes by automatically
some day Jiangsu will rule China

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2012-10-10 19:24:33 |Display all floors
Puberty is a wonderful thing {:soso_e114:} And raging hormones seem to have more of an effect on females than males. Sulks, tanrtrums, door slamming and tears all become daily occurrences and adults and authority become the major enemies. I guess changes to the female body are more drastic and probably more shocking to a child, than to the male.  As the father of two daughters I remember it well. {:soso_e150:}

All I can advise is patience and more patience. Arguments and confrontation will only fuel the war. The words "no you cannot" will result your daughter thinking her world has come to an end! Compromise and understanding regardless of how outrageous seem the demands are the only answer. It is also beneficial if some explanation and warning can be given to the pre-pubescent child before it kicks in.

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 3Rank: 3

Post time 2012-10-10 23:19:57 |Display all floors
everything you hear is from your sister. i think your sister is not handling it well. if her daughter goes crazy, she should not act the same way. if you show love and respect to your children, eventually they give you back. just be patient and smart. i dont think being angry or secretive is a problem for a teenager, it's just parents' expectations are too, subjective.

(this hidden signature can only be seen by myself)

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2012-10-11 06:13:54 |Display all floors
This post was edited by Everynowhere at 2012-10-11 06:14

Show her your appreciation and support, because that's what she needs most at the moment.
As the old saying goes: "Love me when I deserve it the least, for I then need it the most!"

Use magic tools Report

Post time 2012-10-11 08:51:01 |Display all floors
Reminder: Author is prohibited or removed, and content is automatically blocked

Use magic tools Report

You can't reply post until you log in Log in | register

BACK TO THE TOP
Contact us:Tel: (86)010-84883548, Email: blog@chinadaily.com.cn
Blog announcement:| We reserve the right, and you authorize us, to use content, including words, photos and videos, which you provide to our blog
platform, for non-profit purposes on China Daily media, comprising newspaper, website, iPad and other social media accounts.