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The letter was written by Katrin Büchenbacher to her future Chinese mother-in-law. Do you think it is hard to get along with Chinese mother-in-law? If yes, what difficulties have you faced? |
Dear ayi (auntie),
I have been dating your son for almost five years now, and I have known you for more than half that time.
You have been the most loving, caring and forgiving person I have met in my entire life, and while I live in China, you are my mom away from home. Since you are too selfless to accept my thanks in person, here are all the reasons why I love you!
1. You are tolerant
I am sure it must be weird for you to have a future daughter-in-law from Switzerland. Since my Chinese is still improving, you have to speak to me slowly and use simple vocabulary.
I am taller than your son, and my Chinese zodiac is a sheep (I know you believe that is a bad thing). I cannot cook Chinese food, and I do not believe in traditional Chinese medicine.
Marriage, children and owning a house are not priorities for me at this point in my life. You accept all these cultural differences and do not try to change who I am.
2. Your advice goes a long way
"Wear more clothes!" you tell me every time I leave the house and "Drink much water," on all the other occasions. Though it might be a little too persistent at times, I have to admit that you are often right. You also told me that no person is good or bad, but that we all have both sides in us, so we shall not judge people. Moreover, you told me that life is like a glass of pebbles, if we fill it up with all the small stuff first, there is no space left for the big important matters.
3. You are reliable
Whether I am at the hospital, having period cramps or an argument with your son, you are there for me. You have let me live with you for several months, and when we moved into our apartment, you provided all the blankets and kitchen tools and helped us with the move. Your care and attention are as soothing as hot chicken soup on a cold winter day.
4. You are light-hearted
I have seen you saddened to tears when you said goodbye to your son at the airport. I have seen you angry when we did not take all the apples, leeks and frozen fish you bought for us. I have seen you cry with compassion when you saw that I was in pain because of a broken collarbone.
However, most of the time, you are cheerful, cracking a joke about my love for dairy products or breaking into laughter in the middle of a quarrel when you become aware of the absurdity of the situation. Your humor helps me take the world less seriously.
5. You are the best chef
No Yuxiang Rousi (fish-flavor shredded pork) I have ever tasted comes close to the mouth-watering mix of sweet, sour and spicy you can magically prepare in a matter of minutes. Food is not just food for you. I know when you ask "Have you eaten?" it is your way to say "I love you." Thank you for treating me like family. I hope one day I will be able to repay you. I will never forget everything that you have done for me and I look forward to becoming your future daughter-in-law!