Author: Sallywrj

What should one do in their 20s to avoid regrets in their 30s or 40s?   [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2017-7-29 12:36:46 |Display all floors
It's quite a mystery how each generation repeats the same mistakes of the previous generation as if there is no learning curve, as if all traces of history are erased. If you think about it, how every civilization progresses is by learning what to do and what not to do based on the experiences of one's elders.  Alas, that seems to be not happening.  It is as if having new wings one must fly immediately to fall flat without thought of personal damage not just to oneself but to one's future generations.

With that as backdrop, consider what one should do and not do in the 20s so as not to regret ten to twenty years later.

The 20s are the ten years of foundation laying. They start with a question: what is the purpose of my life? For most these days, accumulating wealth seems a prime objective of life purpose. That says one must first be healthy in order to concentrate mind and muscle to earn wealth continuously and thus be able to accumulate it for the future. So the 20s should be a period of health building. Of which there are three types: physical health, mental health, and spiritual health. The times allocated for them should be optimally balanced according to one's character and ability. If not bright enough, study more to gain useful knowledge; take notes; review them, learn how to study better and remember more. If not mature enough, observe, reflect and introspect on one's personality strengths and weaknesses with view to overcoming negative traits, augmenting good ones. If not stoic enough, develop better habits and self-control, be more fastidious about avoiding bad traits and attitudes.

One might say in the 20s, one would not be unduly concerned about physical health. But why not? If we don't consciously focus on maintaining good physical health when young, then health issues will come when older because maintaining the human body and mind is no different from maintaining a motor-car. With constant use, it needs change of oil, parts, tyres and batteries, even the occasional tuning. What you eat also contributes to physical health. If too much bad food, blood, heart, gut and other organs will be affected, and the brain processes may also be negatively affected. If too much strain on the eyes and ears, cornea hardening and conjunctivitis what more deafness may happen faster later. If too much tobacco and alcohol, lungs and liver will degrade faster.  Moreover, staying focused on keeping good health creates the life-long habit of tuning the body and mind for challenges to come.

What about mental and spiritual health? Let's say one has just graduated from school or college. The education acquired is basic. Besides the native intelligence of how to apply the basics learned to real life problem-solving, working life also requires other skills and characteristics. None of these is going to come without effort. One critical effort is developing an input circle. Namely, a circle of good and dependable friends and contacts who can help clarify a problem, suggest an idea, open a door, provide supporting resources, even coach what to do and not to do. In a word, networking is a lifelong resource one must constantly cultivate, not just in the 20s. After all, those who play golf on weekends are less about hitting a ball more about developing networks of contacts. Each of these contacts is like a player on the stage of life. Keep good steadfast ones, avoid those who will lead one astray. It doesn't matter what the industry or occupation; after all, how would you know you won't be needing the knowledge some day? In work societies, there are three layers everywhere. The boss layer may offer some pearls of wisdom, gems of insight but they won't normally have all the details. The worker layer can help with a bit of info here, a method there, a quirk further off, but they won't be able to connect all the dots all the time for all the possible permutations of circumstances. It is the middle management layer which is a greater trove of knowledge, information and data. One, because many of them came up from being workers, two because they have to tussle daily with all the factors that affect the business or activity, three because they are the ones facing the needs and challenges of achieving targets, solving real problems. And four because if they are any good they will rise to be bosses in the future. Just that in focusing on this segmentation, don't forget the workers. They too can rise to be the middle management one day.  Furthermore, this segmentation does not exclusively mean the place one works. It can be anything anywhere. Even the bakery owner down the road you buy bread from can provide you enough hearsay remarks to prick your interest in the economy, for that matter how to raise the dough.

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Post time 2017-7-29 12:37:03 |Display all floors
2/2

Let's look at another angle to acquiring useful know-how. Let's say one is a salaried junior staff working with specific responsibilities in a particular department of a large organization. Or one is a key staff of a small organization and expected to handle multiple tasks on a daily basis that is starting to look like a grimy boring unremittingly laborious no-future job. What extracurricular skills should one develop quickly before hitting 30?

Looking at the guy who working as a bellhop learned coding and developed and sold whatsapp for millions, or the kid who wrote the microblogging tumblr and sold for half a billion within five years, or even the world's present richest guy at usd90 billion who runs and owns 15 percent of Amazon, learning to develop a web application including catalog and payment store seems a naturally logical skill to develop. Just learn how to do it. What to do with it can come later when an idea whose time has come hits you in the forehead; it will then be your own personal tianxia moment in life.  And believe in this - everyone gets one chance to make it in life. If you do things right all the time, one is enough. If not, you also achieve a good life by not leading a bad one.  It's not just wealth and health which make for purpose in life.

Which comes to the matter of spiritual health. Let's say we take the most basic of all situations - namely, we don't believe in anything. No matter - just try this out when you are 20; try out faster if you're 20<n<30:  every morning at 7 am (because your habit of sleeping early to avoid bad activities helps you wake up early), you sit alone in a quiet corner for 7 minutes. In that 7 minutes, you imagine your mind as a container being emptied of all the mental laundry from yesterday. Now from 7.07, start recording what goes back in hour by hour.  You just need to do this for two days. Then take another quiet moment, and analyze yourself from what went into that head of yours. It's important - because how you remember what it contains and how you react to your memory will show you the shadows you carry in your character which needs attention. You will gain wisdom about yourself - your character beneath the personality you show the world. You will also take a step back before pushing a step forward every time a thought comes into your head. You will see how the thought is colored, red for anger, blue for nonchalance, green for envy, purple, black, white, grey, turquoise etc..
If this modeling doesn't work, create your own to understand yourself better. This introspective self-analysis will also help balance the outward buddy-developing networking. So that you can interact with yourself better before you start interacting with the rest of the world around you.

What other things to learn in the 20s? Say, how to do import-export? Where are the sources to find information? Where to get the licenses and registrations? How do you find accurate information on anything? Where are the markets and sources of what they need? What are the features of each item, how do you communicate its worth? How do you write a business plan that gives an accurate breakeven analysis to sustain a cash-flow that requires dynamic pricing in a changing market? How do you exercise adequate capital control, asset appreciation, accurate book-keeping, even? How do you prevent or reduce fraud, penalties, risks, costs? How can you increase value, price and profit? What's the next trend coming?  Et Cetera!

I can tell you the next stages, namely 30s, 40s and so on - and then intrapolate each of them back to the 20s so that you can get a second picture of what i am trying to say here - incidentally ALL for you. I no longer benefit from this life.

But the reason why this is so long is because there will be a 5G revolution coming. It will start 2020. And you will be immersed in it. It will expand beyond 4G and 3G and create at least 100 times increase in speed, perhaps a 1000 times increase in market opportunities. Now, why should all those crazy valuations benefit only individuals in the west when you are in the biggest e-commerce market in the world? All it requires for you to shine is to stay focus on what is important to your life and the country, avoid bad and energy-sapping activities, and invent an idea already in the back of your mind.  Open those eyes and see the gap between what people can want and what they are not presently getting. Then design the app to close it.

One last point.  The greatest threat to those in the 20s is the simplest quietest danger. Boredom. It is so easy for those who are bright to be bored. And the way many have gone about overcoming their boredom is to engage in activities that sap them of the good luck that would otherwise have come to them in the one chance of their lives. While at the end of each life one will only dismiss all attachments to the temporal and temporary world of things we live in, in the meantime one must work and do and live by life's rules.

Write a good tianxia for your life. It is a play drama in which you are the centre-stage prima actor (actress). Don't waste this life. It all starts with you in your 20s (etc).









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Post time 2017-7-30 20:21:13 |Display all floors
I did many things wrong in my life, if I can give advise to any youngster DO not smoke.

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Post time 2017-7-31 00:18:59 |Display all floors
Sallywrj Post time: 2017-7-28 17:07
I saw this original question on Reddit, and some gave their advice
@ZuluCharlieRider
If you want to  ...

To have the same goals as your partner does not help much for a stable relationship. However, to be very tolerant and accepting of the differences of your partner is a very good thing.

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Post time 2017-7-31 10:22:05 |Display all floors
Things that 20/20 hindsight recommends:

Never smoke or do drugs (illegal type stuff)
Get a career going and start to establish yourself
Save at least 40% of your take home pay.
Find yourself and grow up (mature)
Be aware of your limitations
Per Ardua Ad Astra

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Post time 2017-7-31 11:45:42 |Display all floors
stay single

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Post time 2017-7-31 11:53:31 |Display all floors
This post was edited by tailorsas at 2017-7-31 15:59

I believe that before you intend to do something, there must be a good reason that convinces your brain to act in a certain way, the more mistakes you make, the less juvenile you'll be in your 30s. Follow your heart, do not kill people and endangered animals, then you'll be fine.
I forgot how to forget.

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