Author: ceciliazhang

Is it okay to teach your kids to fight back?   [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2017-5-3 20:30:00 |Display all floors
parcher Post time: 2017-5-3 19:15
People can be bullied for the colour of their skin, how they look, or even their sexuality, so its ...

> its wrong for you to say the victim should take a look at himself/herself. This is something you have no control over!!

Try to open up your mind a bit, and think outside the box. Why is one black person bullied but not another? You absolutely have control over it, because you create your own reality. The mind has power. Because most of us are unaware of this, we create problematic situations for ourselves. People who have often subconscious victim mentalities become victims, and this can be changed. I understand that it is hard to believe, but you have to want to understand at least. Try and think beyond what you are used to.

Sometimes the situation is karmic, but once you realize you create your own reality, you can change whatever it is you want. This is all I will say on this subject.

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Post time 2017-5-3 20:59:19 |Display all floors
It is a very poor, unintelleigent suggestion by these Chinese parents.

It reinforces the apathy in Chinese society towards tragedies that happen to others. It encourages self-justice which inevitably will lead to justice by the stronger. What's the worst: it empowers little child terrors to take power from adults instead of seeking redress or help from adults.

If you teach your child to take matters into your own hands your child will become a lawscoff. Which most Chinese parents are.

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Post time 2017-5-4 00:21:32 |Display all floors
When I was growing up, my mother always told me not to fight because fighting would demean me also. I obeyed my mother until I was in high school, when one school bully did his best to provoke me to fight back. I never did, until one day I just had had enough. He came from behind me and kicked me. I fell down, got up and without a word hit him with my fist and he went down. He never challenged me again and neither did others.
Thus I say, teach children to fight back when it become too much!!!

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Post time 2017-5-4 04:31:16 |Display all floors
1105852048 Post time: 2017-5-4 00:21
When I was growing up, my mother always told me not to fight because fighting would demean me also.  ...

> Thus I say, teach children to fight back when it become too much!!!

Yes, but that's confusing to kids. When is it "too much"? So it's better to teach kids not to fight back but to walk away. When it becomes too much, fighting back is a natural human reaction, you don't need to teach it.

But if you teach violence, like in the OP, kids will resort to it first, instinctively, and when they grow up, they will do the same thing to society, and then it will be hard to fix.

I'd bet that parents who teach kids to fight back are pretty violent themselves, and I'd bet they would physically punish their own kids quite harshly. You see, violence perpetuates itself. The cycle needs to be broken somewhere.

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Post time 2017-5-4 04:36:26 |Display all floors
It's better to allow kids to grow up in a non-combative environment in the home. Teach only good things. When kids grow up healthy mentally (and not just physically), then they can make wiser decisions in their adulthood. If you teach combativeness to kids, then kids grow up with a fighting attitude, and it's going to create a hostile society. Teach kids to understand why bullies are bullies. Impart wisdom to kids. When they understand why bullies behave that way, perhaps they can forgive them. The kindness might even rub on the bully, especially with kids, when things are more innocent and genuine.

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Post time 2017-5-4 04:38:02 |Display all floors
why do posts need to be stuck in the filter? it's annoying and it disrupts the flow of the conversation.

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Post time 2017-5-4 07:28:46 |Display all floors
hi654 Post time: 2017-5-4 04:38
why do posts need to be stuck in the filter? it's annoying and it disrupts the flow of the conversat ...

EXACTLY!!!

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