Author: linda_sun

Should parents arrange dates for children?   [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2017-2-7 14:36:42 |Display all floors
linda_sun Post time: 2017-2-7 10:02
Nothing wrong with a parent trying to set their kid up, so long as the kid is receptive to it. And ...

nothing wrong with suggestion a date with someone, but the decision should always rest with their son or daughter...
thats not always the case though
if you want something in life get off your backside, and do it yourself!! don't rely on others to do it for you

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Post time 2017-2-7 15:05:03 |Display all floors
markwu Post time: 2017-2-7 11:07
It's a hope of all parents that their children will have good lifelong spouses, especially when most ...

You are, really. Acutually, I'm beginning to ask myself if I would arrange such a date for my children.Part of me would want my children have their family so I can be of help taking care of grandchildren. Part of me would want them pursue their career successfully before settling down.

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Post time 2017-2-7 17:09:43 |Display all floors
This post was edited by HailChina! at 2017-2-7 17:12
linda_sun Post time: 2017-2-7 10:03
Seems it is not unique to Chinese culture.

My dad does want me to get married. He would have been happy if I married that chick. edit - I just took her on a few dates though. She bought me a pyjama shirt that had said 'Its on like Donkey Kong' on the front of it you know. It wasnt.

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Post time 2017-2-7 18:14:22 |Display all floors
linda_sun Post time: 2017-2-7 15:05
You are, really. Acutually, I'm beginning to ask myself if I would arrange such a date for my chil ...

Thank you; i am sure you will make a wonderful mother-in-law, and grandma as well.

It is only natural for parents to want their children to have steady jobs as foundation to support a family of their own; this sentiment reflects what many parents might themselves have had hardship getting in the earlier years of their own lives which they instinctively don't wish for their children to experience.

Yet there are many poorer countries where this has not been more fully realized and by a different logic. The young married very young and when asked why said if they didn't who would want them when they are older. Then they started producing many children when their husbands could hardly make enough to support a small family by their irregular low-paying jobs. The risky thing is that those young mothers are under the notion they should have as many children as possible as early as they can so that after they stop reproduction, they would still be young enough to start work and their husbands likewise think the children can be workers when they grow up to contribute upkeep of their parents.

But this logic alone stands on a risk that the bigger a family, the less one can allocate from the father's wages for each child if those wages don't grow in size as the family grows in numbers. Because in the growing stage of a child, there is a critical minimum for each factor required in order for the child to have a better chance of achieving higher potential. Those factors are simple things like food, shelter, parental attention, and education. The more mouths to feed, the less amount for each by a household income that is fixed or growing too slowly.

Furthermore, when the mother starts working, it will be at a time when her children haven't yet become adults which means the children will more often than not be left to their own devices unless there are relatives to take care of them while the parents go out to work each day.

Therefore in those poorer countries, there remains the social specter of a poverty-induced cycle.  Which is why national economic performance creating work and income opportunities are important and should be safeguarded to break such poverty cycles.  In this, one can applaud what countries like China have achieved and in such dramatic fashion that she can afford the new two-child policy which will also grow domestic consumption and therefore spur local industries in the coming years, a process nevertheless still depending partially on external factors.

Which comes to the roles of grandparents. Both husband and wife must remember the grandparents of their children have less time left than them which should thus not be so loaded to take care of their children that the old folks do not have enough time for themselves as they progress into their greying years which are the less for each annual festival passed.

While the old folks would only be too silently happy to play with and keep an eye on their grandchildren, it should not be at the expense of their own health and ability; they more than anything need their daily rest. This implies parents should have the means to afford paid child-care for infants unless either parent is not working.

On the other hand, if both parents are working and the children are already schooling from morning until say noon, the grandparents need only take care of their charges for six hours to dinnertime when the parents would get back from work but in many cases that period of time when the older ones would also need their short breaks. Each family unit will thus have to find and adjust its own timetable accordingly to minimize inconvenience and discomfort to their old folks.

Which comes to the notion of the family unit at which point i am going to make a controversial statement. Which is the natural measure of human affairs beyond philosophies is the family unit. And leave it at that.

Elsewhere you have written, "It is not an easy job for women to be housewives..". I would just like to say it is not easy for women. And end at that.














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Post time 2017-2-7 19:21:40 |Display all floors
Parent's feeling is different from their children ..But I think this would do no harm ..

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Post time 2017-2-7 21:19:54 |Display all floors
Yeah the parents are caring about their children. But many situations are that parents want their kids to get married soon so they can have grandchildren, so they force their kids to date someone they barely know! That's the problem I think.

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Post time 2017-2-8 00:59:30 |Display all floors
Sallywrj Post time: 2017-2-7 21:19
Yeah the parents are caring about their children. But many situations are that parents want their ki ...

That's not good if they push them to

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